


13

by MothMckrakken



Category: Bleach
Genre: F/M, RenRuki
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-18
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2018-03-01 19:13:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 26,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2784506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MothMckrakken/pseuds/MothMckrakken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which there is an inconvenient crowd of people, a penetrating gaze, a guilt-trip and a whole lot of paperwork.<br/>Set when Rukia has just been appointed lieutenant of the 13th division and is feeling the weight of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Imminent Rain

Trying to carry a tall stack of paperwork down the street on a blustery day is never an easy task, let alone when you are already late, vertically challenged, and pretty sure it’s about to start raining. Rukia struggled to keep grip on the shifting papers piled in her arms as she practically skidded round the side of a building, tilting dangerously but clamping them tight to her chest and only just avoiding a potentially disastrous paper-slide. The entrance to the thirteenth division was within view now, straight up the road, and a crowd of people seemed to be her only obstacle. Eyes gleaming with steely determination, she walked as briskly as she dared towards it; only too aware of the importance of getting everything done correctly, today of all days.

The mass of people were taking up most of the path, standing together or leaning against the buildings either side, some sitting and drinking tea or smoking as they chatted loudly, drowning out each other’s voices. As she carefully weaved and nudged her way through them, Rukia recognised a few from squads ten and five; they must have been on their lunch break, inconveniently positioned right on the home stretch that should have taken her seconds to clear, but she soon found herself swallowed amongst the bustling squad members that dwarfed her in size and failed to hear her indignant exclamations over their own noise. Taking a deep breath in an attempt to remain calm and keep herself, and her papers, together, Rukia heard her name being called.

“Rukia! I thought I saw you!” Hinamori was making her way through crowd, beaming and waving at her, closely followed by a similarly enthusiastic Rangiku. Her stomach sinking, Rukia felt like this was possibly the worst time to stop and chat with anyone, but was comforted by the thought that they could possibly help her escape. She forced a small smile as they approached and Hinamori asked how she was doing. “That looks like an awful lot of paperwork!” she commented sympathetically. Rukia gave a short laugh as she shifted the sheets to one side and tried to pin them down under her chin in response to the wind whipping around them.  
“I was just on my way to the division when I got caught up in this…” Hinamori seemed to sense her stress and was about to reply when Rangiku interjected.

“Ukitake better not be working you too hard, Rukia! Just because you’re a lieutenant now doesn’t mean you have to do everything for everyone!” Rukia blinked and quickly backtracked. “No no, Captain Ukitake isn’t making me do too much at all! I just didn’t organise myself this morning, I should’ve known better on my first day-” Rangiku held up a hand and gave her a grave look.  
“Listen, Kuchiki. Don’t go thinking being a lieutenant means working all the time and doing anything to impress your captain, because you’ll end up stressing out and breaking down and before you know it your hair will be falling out. You should come out with us tonight – all the squad lieutenants are going to the pub for the evening, it’ll completely relax you!” Rukia glanced in the direction of her division, wondering how late she now was.  
“Thanks for the offer but I really can’t afford to-“  
“I said ALL the squad lieutenants, Kuchiki.” Rangiku cut in, her nose inches from Rukia’s. “Well, except for Yachiru seeing as she’s under age. You’re too tense! You need to unwind – we’ll have a great time! You’ll see!” With a wide smile she straightened up again. “See you at the Paper Butterfly at 8:00!” Spinning around, Rangiku bounced back into the crowd which Rukia noticed was finally starting to thin as squad members returned to their duties.

 Sighing, she turned to Hinamori who was smiling meekly at her. “Sorry about that, Rangiku can be a bit pushy at times but she means well!”  
“Yeah it’s fine," Rukia shrugged, "I just think I ought to focus on my work, on my first night as lieutenant especially, I want to give a good impression…” She began to edge away but Momo happily continued talking. “Oh, sure! Of course! Only…make sure not to be too hard on yourself, won’t you? Captain Ukitake is an understanding man, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind you spending time with your new colleagues and he wouldn’t want you to be under pressure…besides…” Hinamori looked away seeming bashful and Rukia hesitated to hear what she had to say, despite feeling like there was a string tied tightly round her middle desperately trying to pull her away.

“…I would like to get to know you better, now that we are both lieutenants! You seem like a nice person, and I’ve heard such great things about you from Renji…I guess I’d like us to be friends.” She looked up and smiled at Rukia, who was feeling rather embarrassed at this declaration and wasn’t quite sure what to say. “Oh…yeah, me too, that would be, um, good!” She ended up blurting out. Hinamori seemed to light up at this.  
“So…you’ll come to the Butterfly tonight?” Rukia wavered as she was confronted with Momo’s large, shining, hopeful eyes.  
“Uh…o-ok, I’ll check with my Captain I guess…” Hinamori beamed at her.  
“That’s great! See you tonight then!” With a wave, she turned and sped off excitedly.

Rukia gave a small groan. She wasn’t keen on the idea of a large social interaction at a pub with a bunch of people she didn’t know, but at least Renji would be there…though whether he’d spend any time with her when he was with his other friends she didn’t know. Speaking of which, just what exactly had he been telling Hinamori about her? What “great things?” Embarrassing childhood stories, most likely. A rain drop fell on to the top sheet of paper, just in front of Rukia’s nose, interrupting these thoughts. Her eyes widened as this information sunk in, and she immediately continued her quick-step towards the barracks; her free time could be dwelt upon later, when it actually existed.

 

* * *

 

The sky was already darkening as Rukia turned into the squad 6 barracks. Thick, heavy grey clouds hung low over the rooftops as they had done for most of the day, however as what little daylight there had been rapidly retreated, the dense mass of cloud seemed to entirely blot out any glimpse of sky and descend upon Seireitei as if threatening to engulf everything below. It had been a long, draining day, all Rukia really wanted was to enjoy a bath and a hot meal, but she had promised her brother that she would call in and let him know how her first day as lieutenant had gone. Squad 6 officers passed her by, bowing their heads and wishing her a good evening and she did her best to to wear a smile and respond appropriately, with all the grace of a Kuchiki noble.

Stifling a yawn, she was just approaching the squad 6 captain’s office door when she heard some familiar heavy footsteps to her right, as Renji came strolling around the corner.  
“Hey,” she mumbled sleepily as he turned into the corridor, but her unexpected appearance caused him to jump and she laughed at his shocked expression.  
“God’s sake Rukia!” he grinned, “I didn’t know you were here! Quit lurking around corners and scaring innocent hard-working people.”  
“I don’t know what you mean,” Rukia responded with a smirk “I don't see anyone of that description.” Renji rolled his eyes but seemed in too good a mood to be baited by her teasing.  
“Just finished my last shift so I’m on my way home," he told her breezily, "what are you here for?” Rukia gestured to the office door in front of her.  
“Need to give my brother the report on lieutenant life so far…”  
“Oh yeah, that’s right!!” Renji exclaimed with excitement “Today was your first day! So how was it? Everything you dreamed it would be?” he laughed. To his confusion, Rukia said nothing and glanced away. His grin faded fast. “…Rukia?”

Before anything else could be said, the office door slid open and they both stared wide-eyed at the sudden appearance of the 6th squad captain.  
He greeted Rukia and she hurriedly replied in a similar fashion. The cold grey eyes flicked across to her companion.  
“I thought you would have finished by now, Renji.”  
“Ah, yes sir, I have,” was the swift reply, “I just bumped into Rukia on my way out and we got talking…” He faltered under his captain’s penetrating gaze. “…Well anyway I guess I should be going!” Renji spun round to face Rukia again. “I’ll see you at the Butterfly tonight then, yeah?” It took Rukia a second to realise what he was referring to but on remembering Rangiku’s forceful invitation and Momo’s guilt-trip she felt her spirits sink.  
“Oh, I don’t think I’ll be able to make that after all, could you apologise to Hinamori and Matsumoto for me…” Renji looked confused and ready to protest when Byakuya spoke up and surprised them both. “Why don’t you go, Rukia?”

They stared at him, agape as he looked from one to the other. “Is there a problem I am unaware of? You are a lieutenant, are you not Rukia? Spending time with the other lieutenants will surely allow you to glean knowledge and advice from them about working in the field, and provides an opportunity to get to know your colleagues better. I think it’s a perfectly sensible idea.” He stood to one side of the door and gestured for Rukia to enter. She quickly stepped into the office and glanced back at Renji, who raised his eyebrows pointedly at her. Byakuya moved to close the door.  
“Good night, Renji.”  
“Ah, you too, captain, see you later Ru-” the door slid firmly shut. Renji sighed and carried on walking out of the barracks. Outside the wind bit into him and he pulled his sleeves further down his arms before folding them across his chest with a shiver. It was times like this he was glad he had grown his hair longer, it at least protected his neck from the cutting night air. As he set off down the road, the concerning image of Rukia’s dejected expression at the mention of her first day was still fresh in his mind. He would have to talk to her about it at the pub later; providing she showed up.


	2. Defeat the Doubt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Renji gets wound up, the barkeep is observant and there is mild alcohol consumption.

The bath had been blissful, the dinner delicious, and now Rukia found herself curled up on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket and looking over some notes from her first day, but her mind was elsewhere.

  
Her eyes flicked up to the clock on the wall again. It was quarter past 8. She frowned and went back to focusing on the papers. Surely if she didn’t want to go she didn’t have to? She’d had a tough day and just wanted to relax at home, why give in to their pressurizing?

  
Her eyes found the clock again. The minute hand was marching on, while she sat still. With an angry sigh, she threw the blanket to the side and went to get changed, with a mutter of, “Let’s get this over with.” She knew she would only regret not going at all and decided there was no need to stay long anyway; it was only necessary to show her face to be polite, then she could come back home again.

 

* * *

 

Renji drained his sake and looked over at the door.  
“Why not set up post in the doorway? No way you’ll miss her then!” Ikkaku laughed raucously and Renji glared at him.  
“Shut up!” he hissed, glancing around the crowded room.  
“What for? Everyone knows you like her, you know.” Yumichika grinned as Ikkaku continued laughing. Renji shot them a thunderous look.  
“You don’t know what you’re talking about” he growled, pouring out more sake. The three of them were sat at a table in the Paper Butterfly, the lieutenants and customers dotted around other tables and at the bar, the air buzzing with voices and laughter and the room glowing with warm lantern light.

“Oh I think I do,” Yumichika smirked, “what is that delightful new scent you’re wearing? And have you actually brushed your hair? You’re looking almost presentable this evening!” Renji’s cheeks glowed warm as the lanterns hanging above them while Yumichika sniggered.  
“Shut it! What’s so unusual about looking good for a night out? I mean look at you! Are you saying you didn’t prepare before coming out?” Renji challenged, but his words were dismissed with a chuckle.  
“Personal grooming comes naturally to me. I’m not sure the same can be said for you…but it is nice to see you finally making an effort! Don’t worry, I’m sure it won’t go unnoticed.” Yumichika proceeded to sip his drink while Renji glowered at him.

“You two better not say anything when she gets here, I mean it,” he threatened, but this only caused them to pull amused faces at each other.  
“Is he serious, do you think?” Yumichika teased, glancing sideways at Renji who was looking furious. “I don’t know,” Ikkaku replied, unable to keep a straight face, “but I do wonder how soft he’s gotten since leaving squad 11, maybe it’s worth saying something to her just to get a fight out of him…”  
Renji slammed his hands on the table and shot out of his seat as the others burst out laughing again. “You fucking _dare_ -”  
“OI, RENJI!” Rangiku’s bellow as she made her way towards them managed to distract him from his maddening companions. She headed straight for their table, the crowd parting cleanly for her. As she reached them she plucked the tokkuri off their table and re-filled her cup while fixing her eyes on Renji.

“Where’s Rukia then?” The squad 11s tried to stifle their cackles as Renji shot them a murderous look and sat back down.  
“I don’t know. She wasn’t sure about coming but Captain Kuchiki advised her to, so she might still make it…” he finished on a nonchalant shrug. Rangiku didn’t seem content with this reply and pointed to the clock above the bar.  
“It’s already half 8 and she said she’d be here at 8 o’clock!” She pouted.  
“Well what’re you telling me for? I’m not in charge of her.” Renji replied irritably, raising his cup to his lips.  
“And you can talk, Rangiku,” Ikkaku interjected, “When are you on time for anything?”  
“She’s _your_ close friend isn’t she?” Rangiku protested, ignoring that last comment and gesturing enthusiastically at Renji with her cup, spilling some of her drink on the table. “You should’ve walked her here! You’re practically dating anyway aren’t you?” Renji choked on his sake and his friends immediately leapt into action. Ikkaku repeatedly thumped him on the back to dislodge the drink from his throat while Yumichika leant forward and patted his hand sympathetically with a mutter of,  
“Don’t worry, I’ve got this.”

Looking up at Rangiku, Yumichika elegantly raised his eyebrows. “He has no feelings for her. At all. There is absolutely nothing between them. He just spends an abnormal amount of time trying to get her attention, following her around and gazing wistfully in her general direction. But it means nothing, I assure you.” He finished with a noble nod at Renji who was busy groaning and burying his head in one hand whilst rubbing his battered back with the other. Ikkaku gave Yumichika a thumbs-up. Grinning widely, Rangiku swirled her drink, a glint in her eye.  
“Aaahh, I see…”  
“No, you don’t see,” Renji said stiffly, standing up again, “You’re all jumping to conclusions. Just…stay out of it.” He elbowed his way past people to reach the bar. Ikkaku and Yumichika swapped glances while Rangiku watched him leave with a mixture of concern and amusement.

Ikkaku huffed and took a swig from his cup. “Ahh, I don’t know what he expects us to say; I’ll bet she knows anyway,” Yumichika stared after him thinking, absent-mindedly biting his thumb nail. Rangiku had begun surveying the room, craning her neck and swivelling around on her feet like an over-eager bird of prey on the hunt.  
“Damn that late Rukia…Well when she eventually arrives I’ll be having a talk with her anyway, and we’ll know for sure whether she knows.” she began to move off when Yumichika called her name in a serious tone. She turned back and saw both men watching her with sober expressions.  
“Perhaps it would be best to wait for Renji to talk to her. It is a personal matter between them, after all.” Yumichika’s lilac eyes held hers steadily as Ikkaku gave a slight nod of agreement.

Rangiku blinked her large eyes and shrugged innocently.  
“I was only going to ask her what she thought of him! I’m not going to confess Renji’s love in his place, though I doubt he’s going to any time soon either.” She added the last part in a mutter, glancing over at the gloomy figure slouching over the bar.  
Ikkaku sighed, leaning his elbows on the table and resting his chin in his hand. He held up his empty cup and examined it as he spoke,  
“Yeah well, the fact that he’s been guarding his feelings for so long makes it all the more important that he eventually tells her himself. She shouldn’t hear it, even a hint of it, from anyone else, especially not from someone she barely knows.” His eyes moved to Rangiku as he said this and she frowned in disappointment, opening her mouth to say something in return but he continued before she had a chance.

“I’ve known Renji some years now, fought alongside him, trained with him, talked with him, as a friend and as a teacher.” The others watched Ikkaku as these careful words fell from his lips. His voice was quieter now and his eyes bored into the bottom of his cup like it was a window to the past.  
“I know how hard he finds it to confide in people. He may be brash and loud and state his opinions easily, but he has insecurities like everyone else, and he struggles with that. It’s clear he thinks Rukia is indifferent towards him, that he’s not good enough in her eyes. I don’t think he’ll be able to tell her anything until he can grow to accept himself and be comfortable with who he is. It’s not our place to rush him, he just needs our support. ”

Ikkaku placed the cup on the table again and refilled it, the others regarding him thoughtfully, Yumichika with his thumbnail at his softly smiling lips and Rangiku with her arms folded and the playful glint in her eye gone, but a moment later her expression brightened.   
“Well, who knows,” she announced, the others turning to her, “maybe Rukia will surprise us all and be the one to confess her feelings to him.”

 

* * *

 

Rukia dashed beneath the street lamps lighting the way to the Paper Butterfly, the amber gleaming over her carefully combed dark hair and night blue kimono, the pale blue speckles on the fabric showing up as a brief yellow spray under each flash of light. She hadn’t been sure whether this was an occasion for wearing casual sandals or fancier clogs, but when she had seen how late she was there was no contest: swift sandals it was.

She raced around a corner and nearly collided with an outer post of the pub’s porch. Face flushed and heart beating furiously, Rukia raised her eyes to the pub sign flanked and lit up by fiery, ornate lanterns. A hell butterfly was depicted twisting in mid flight; it’s trailing, paper-thin wings filled with intricate black swirls and billowing as it battled against an incoming wind. The building itself seemed to emanate warmth; the door was thrown open and conversation drifted out into the night air to mingle with the gentle evening cricket song.

Yet Rukia couldn’t move from where she stood. Her elevated heartbeat wouldn’t settle in her tightening chest as she stared at the inviting scene ahead of her. She frowned to herself and scolded this sudden irrational fear she faced…what was wrong with her? She took a step forward, then another on to the porch, then stopped again and balled her fists.

She knew this nervous feeling all too well. The same nerves had taken over when she had started at the academy, been adopted into the Kuchiki clan, began working at the 13th division, and here it was again gripping her tightly, the dread of being alone amongst too many strangers with expectations to meet and something else gnawing at her that she couldn’t understand. It was an ugly sensation that hadn’t reared it’s head for a while now, but she knew she could overcome it, so it was with heavy feet that Rukia reached the doorway and placed a hand on the door frame, peering inside.

 

* * *

 

The barkeeper was watching Renji curiously. He had asked the lieutenant if he’d wanted a drink but the offer had been bluntly rejected and now Renji was sat on a stool, slumped on the bar with his head turned to the side as it rested on one hand, a stormy expression clouding his face. Just as the barkeep was wondering if he should ask about any woes or troubles his customer was harbouring, as he was sure this was something hidden somewhere in his job description, he saw Renji’s eyes widen as he suddenly sat upright, attention fixed at the door.

Barkeep’s own eyes followed suit to see a small figure just outside, half hidden and clutching the door frame like a banished spirit afraid to enter. The man barely had time to glance back when he heard the harsh screech of Renji’s stool and saw the red hair pass him by and head to the door, the small spirit-girl’s eyes lighting up in surprise and relief as she saw him approach. Barkeep frowned curiously at them as Renji reached the door and the girl gave him a small smile and backed out into the night. Renji paused briefly, then followed, disappearing outside. The barkeep couldn’t help but be intrigued, but a shout from a thirsty customer made him reluctantly tear his attention away from the situation.

 

* * *

 

She seemed glad to see him, and as he got nearer he could feel the smile growing on his face in response to her own.  
“Where have you been, Rukia?” he called, but she didn’t enter to greet him. Instead, she drew away into the darkness outside, looking at him apologetically. He slowed and stopped, giving her an inquiring look, but he could read an anxiousness in her expression as her face fell into shadow, and for fear of losing her in the night he stepped outside after her.

“What’s the matter?” he asked, following her to the edge of the porch. She shook her head at him with a creased brow.  
“Sorry, I’m just being stupidly nervous.” She looked past him at the doorway and sighed harshly, frowning to herself. Renji almost laughed at how seriously she was taking this but stopped himself; he leaned against a post and contemplated her with intrigue.  
“Nervous? Of what?” She glanced away, embarrassed.  
“Well…I’ve never been to one of these things before, and there are so many people…” This time Renji did give a snort of laughter, and she glared at him, cheeks flaming.  
“Sorry, sorry!” he exclaimed, the amusement still audible in his voice, “but come on, this lot really aren’t scary enough to be stressing over - they’re harmless! They’ll welcome you like a long-lost sister.”  
“I’m not afraid of their hostility, I-I just…” she laughed bitterly. “I don’t even know…I’ve been through life-threatening situations barely breaking a sweat, but just look at me now!” she held out damp, shaking palms.

Renji was surprised at her distress. He looked down at her hands, then reached out, brought them together and enclosed them in his. They felt small, cold and clammy; fearful. He raised his eyes to hers and squeezed her hands. “It’s natural to be nervous. I don’t suppose the Kuchikis have let you experience many big, noisy, pub get-togethers in your 40 years with them?” She glanced up at him, a slight smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.  
“Not many, funnily enough…” he shrugged his large shoulders.  
“Well there you go! Maybe it’s daunting now, but if you tackle it head on, like you do with every other new thing life throws at you, then it’ll just be another achievement under your belt!” he smiled at her. “And let’s face it - you’ve faced way worse than this and come out stronger than ever.”

She looked at him as his confident words travelled through the warmth of his hands, slowly helping to restore her stability. She stood up straighter.  
“You’re right.” There was a determination strengthening her voice and the smile she gave him then shone in her eyes, making the breath catch in his throat as she gently prised her hands from his. “Shall we go in?”

He grinned and patted a hand on her shoulder.  
“After you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do like night scenes, they tend to feel more personal. Wow Ikkaku, way to be a buzz-kill! Deep philosophical speeches are for later in the night when everyone's had a couple more drinks, everyone knows that. Shame Renji didn't catch it and still thinks you guys suck.


	3. Piercing the Clouds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rukia actually enters the pub, Momo might want to take it easy with the drinking, and Renji takes a detour and drags Rukia up a hill.

Rukia entered the room cautiously, her heart rate still not quite settled, but knowing Renji was just behind her was a comfort that spurred her onwards. She had hoped to make no disturbance and to blend in with the others, but she wasn’t half way across the room when she was spotted. Soon lieutenants surrounded her, shouting their congratulations, raising their cups and cheering for her, and Renji couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of her bemused little face in the middle of it all.

After the enthusiastic welcome Rukia had been ushered to a table and bought drinks, with people crowding round to ask her questions about her first day, giving her advice on dealing with captains and sub-ordinates, and in Matsumoto’s case, giving her a thorough scolding for being so late, followed up by an alcohol-scented bear hug and a heartfelt welcome to the lieutenant “family”. Although it was initially unsettlingly smothering and all too focused on her, once they began to ease off and give her some breathing space Rukia found she was able to enjoy herself. Renji had returned to her side and Momo had rushed over to formally introduce Izuru, the three of them sitting down with her providing humorous, easy conversation and pretty soon Rukia had forgotten all her anxiety.

 

* * *

 

“Are you sure you won’t have another drink?” Izuru held the tokkuri out to her but she shook her head. “Thank you, but I really couldn’t.” Rukia liked alcohol well enough in moderation but wasn’t a huge fan of it and was quite happy with her tea. Besides, Byakuya had cautioned her on all the things to avoid at a ‘pub night out’, and getting drunk was definitely up there with the ‘unacceptable behaviours’ for a Kuchiki to display. He had touched upon how excessive drinking makes you vulnerable and is dangerous and damaging to your health, but Rukia reckoned he was more concerned about the danger and damage it would do to their clan’s pride than to her.

“I’ll have some more!” Momo exclaimed, leaning eagerly across the table and thrusting her cup beneath Izuru's nose, making him flinch backwards.  
“Oh! Are you sure, Hinamori…?” he replied hesitantly, carefully lowering her hand and looking over her reddened cheeks and ear-to-ear grin. “Perhaps you ought to try some tea instead? I hear the jasmine is particularly fragrant here!” Momo snorted with derision at the suggestion.  
“Over-priced plant water,” she slurred dismissively with a wave of her hand, “some good sake beats that tasteless stuff any day, right Rukia?” Rukia paused, her cup of tea halfway to her mouth.  
“And anyway, you know who drinks tea?” Momo said the word with a curled lip like it tasted bad in her mouth, before narrowing her eyes at no-one in particular and lowering her voice to a whispered growl. “Aizen.”

There was a brief silence, then Izuru cleared his throat and offered her the sake. To Rukia’s relief this topic didn’t continue as Rangiku’s voice cut through the mingled conversations in the crowded room, summoning everyone’s attention. Turning, Rukia spotted her standing surprisingly steadily atop a bar stool, arms held out either side of her with a cup in one hand, seeming, Rukia thought, absurdly like an angel spreading her wings as everyone gazed up at her, listening intently.

“Alright everyone!” Matsumoto announced, her wide smile radiant and all-encompassing, “Tonight, as I’m sure you’re all aware, marks a very special occasion for a certain someone in this room!” Rukia cringed as she saw where this was going and a ripple of cheers flew up around the room, including a particularly loud whoop from Renji, who she swiftly elbowed in the ribs. Matsumoto’s bright blue eyes pin-pointed Rukia in the crowd and she raised her cup.  
“For those of you who live under a rock and therefore don't know, our little Kuchiki heir has just been made lieutenant of the 13th Division, and lets face it, we’ve needed one of them for a while!” The room reverberated with laughter, but at those words Rukia paled.  
“Welcome and good luck!” Rangiku called out happily, the room a mass of cups in the air and all joyful faces watching the small, wide eyed girl, merrily shouting their agreement. All the noise and smiles and praise closed in around her, and suddenly the lantern light was blinding, blurring her vision, and the pungent smell of alcohol stung the back of her throat. She swung around to the table again as the cheering died down and drank deeply from her cup despite the tea still being burning hot; she almost welcomed the scalding of her throat, as if it cleansed the sickening she felt inside.

“Nice of her to make a speech wasn’t it?” Renji chatted cheerfully, “See? Didn’t I say they’d love you?” Rukia gave a queasy smile and stood up.  
“Yeah! It’s been really nice, guys, thanks. I think I’ll take my leave now.” The three looked up in surprise.  
“You’re not going already are you?” Momo gasped, reaching up to clumsily clutch at Rukia’s arm. “The night is young! Have another drink!” Rukia only laughed and apologised for leaving early.

“It’s been great talking with you but I wasn’t going to stay late anyway, today really was exhausting. I’ll see you all some other time.” She waved and began to move off.  
“Hey, wait a second, I’ll walk you back,” she heard Renji call after her as he quickly got to his feet.  
“There’s no need, I’ll be fine,” Rukia reassured him, “Don’t let me interrupt your evening! Besides,” she added in a hushed tone, “if anyone needs walking back it’s Hinamori.” They glanced over to where Momo was slumped on Izuru’s shoulder, asking him why everyone always leaves her, while he awkwardly patted her head in attempted comfort. Rukia smiled up at Renji but he looked doubtfully at her expression. She knew he could see through her mask, however she wasn’t going to stick around any longer, and with a final goodbye she left.

 

* * *

 

Rukia got through the door at last and breathed in the cool night air. There was no one in the street and she welcomed the emptiness, walking briskly over the cobbled stones away from the pub and into the quiet. It wasn’t long before he caught up with her; she’d half expected it to be honest, Renji had never been one to back off when he could tell something was wrong. He drew level with her and fell into step, strolling along beside her like he’d always been there. She almost smirked despite herself.

“Fool. I told you to stay.” He raised his eyebrows at her.  
“That's not how training works, you should have told me to sit first.” She raised her own brow at him in unimpressed response to that line, but his grin was contagious and she had to look away quickly before she betrayed her stern composure.  
“So come on then, what’s bugging you?” he pressed. They were some distance from the Paper Butterfly now, the night-fuelled light from the street lamps falling upon them from above and with darkness at their sides. Rukia hugged her arms close to her and raised her head to the light above them. She didn’t know what to say, let alone what he could say in response.  
He watched her struggle to find the words, her troubled grey-blue eyes hilighted by the lamp so briefly before falling back into shadow. He waited. She eventually lowered her gaze and pressed her lips together.

“…Did you know Kaien Shiba?” She asked softly. Renji was taken aback by the question, but with a frown he nodded.  
“Yeah…the previous 13th squad lieutenant, right? I mean I wasn’t a lieutenant yet when he held the seat, but I’d seen him around and heard what others thought of him. He seemed alright.” He didn’t think he ought to admit that he’d actually seen the guy with Rukia on multiple occasions after she’d joined the squad and noted how comfortable they were with each other, much to his own uncomfortableness. He realised Rukia was looking at him. His eyes darted away and he scratched his nose.

“So, what has he got to do with this?” She was silent so he turned back and found her staring straight ahead, her expression so lost and broken that he stopped in his tracks.  
“Hey,” he held on to her arm to prevent her moving onwards and she reluctantly brought her eyes round to his. She looked like she was going to cry, not a look that was familiar on her face. Renji felt his stomach sink at the sight. The only times he’d ever seen her like this was back in the Rukongai at their friend’s funerals.

They had been heading down the main road towards the Kuchiki mansion, but now Renji reached down and grabbed hold of her hand, guiding her off the path and over the grass that banked it. Rukia temporarily abandoned her sorrowful expression for one of startlement.  
“Renji? What are you doing? Where are we going?” he smiled at her.  
“I found this place a while back. You’ll want to see it.” She was too intrigued to protest.

He led her up the grassy hill, away from the streetlights. For a while they seemed to be walking blindly and she wondered how he could tell where he was going, but it was as if he had an inner compass. He strode with determination, slowing every now and then whenever they turned and warning her of any steepness or depressions in the ground, all the while with a tight grip on her hand. Her eyes gradually adjusted to the darkness until she could make out for herself the silhouettes of trees towering over them and the slope of the earth they were moving across. The air grew cooler as they ascended; wind brushed her cheeks and tangled her recently combed hair.

Eventually, while climbing a steep side of the hill, Rukia realised she could see clearer; the moonlight was stronger away from the street-lit town and she could now see the spikes of Renji’s vivid red hair trailing over his shoulders, swaying as he moved. She only now realised just how long it had grown and couldn’t help wondering what it would be like free from it’s ponytail. Renji looked back over his shoulder.  
“This is it.”

They clambered up the top of the hill and pushed low-hanging branches aside, breaking through the trees until Rukia’s eyes fell upon the tiny moonlit clearing ahead of them. They were in a ragged crescent of fir trees that stood around a small sloping patch of grass overlooking the descent down the other side. Rukia stepped forward, dumbstruck by the view. From here you could see over the seireitei wall into the Rukongai; not the towns, but the mountains. Immense, magnificent grassy sculptures climbing up into the clouds.

“It may not seem much in the dark,” she heard Renji say quickly from behind her, “but you should see it at sunset. Or sunrise.” He laughed. “Hell, I’ve managed to trek up here in the middle of the day and it still looks great, even without dramatic lighting.” She tore her gaze from the view to look over at him. He was smiling tentatively and searching her face for a reaction, clearly anxious about what she thought of the place. Her expression softened. To think he had bothered to bring her up here at this hour, to show her a place that clearly means something to him, just to make her feel better.

“I’m sure it does,” she replied warmly, “it’s truly beautiful up here.” Renji’s smile relaxed and broadened. He made his way to a tree near the centre of the crescent.  
“Come sit here, you get the best view.” He sat down himself, crossing his legs and leaning back against the wide trunk and she lowered herself down next to him.

“Well you got me to sit, is this the part where you train me to stay?” she joked drily. He laughed and shook his head.  
“Nah, I guess that's up to you...but since I bothered to bring you all the way up here humour me with a few minutes at least.”  
"Fine, god you're needy" she sighed with mock exhasperation. Her arm was rested gently against his and Renji revelled in the feeling of her warmth against him, even if the contact was only slight it was still a sign of her appreciation of his company, that she liked having him near her, and that was enough.

They sat in settled silence for a while; Rukia appreciating the serenity of the place and Renji having lost his tongue in response to the sudden intimacy of the moment. He tried to brush away the butterflies in his stomach, telling himself she couldn’t be feeling the same; right now she just wanted him there as a friend. He focused instead on how to, if he should at all, bring up their last conversation.

Stealing a sideways glance at her he saw she did appear more at ease, but he feared starting on the subject again would only bring back the melancholy he had managed to drag her away from in the first place.  
“Thanks for tonight, Renji.” he turned to her in surprise. She was sat cross legged, her eyes fixed on her hands lying in her lap.  
“For helping me earlier at the Butterfly, and for this now…I swear I just need a kick up the arse sometimes.”  
Renji shrugged sheepishly, looking the other way so she wouldn’t see his cheeks colouring. “Don’t worry about it. We all do.”

After a pause, Rukia tilted her head upwards towards the bright moon that was cutting through the thick cloud-shrouded sky.  
“When I joined squad 13 I was scared. Of disappointing my brother, of not knowing what lay ahead of me…of not having you around.” Renji listened intently and felt his heartbeat elevate; they’d never discussed their separation properly before.

“I hated the way the other officers treated me, like I was some privileged snob who they could flatter and patronise then bitch about later. Kaien wasn’t like that.” A cold wind blew through the trees and brought a few raindrops with it, but this was barely noticed.  
“To him I was just another subordinate; I loved being in his company because I wasn’t constantly reminded that I was a Kuchiki. He treated me as a person, not a noble.” With a slight smile, she nodded towards the mountains. “Sometimes he would take me to train at Mt. Koifushi in Western Rukongai. That’s where I first released Sode No Shirayuki…it was such a tranquil place.”

Renji could hear simply from the tone of her voice how much she missed the man. It was no secret what had happened to lieutenant Shiba, and as it became clear how close Rukia had been with him Renji felt like he was starting to understand her post-promotion depression.

“I’m glad to hear he was a good friend to you,” he admitted, “especially since the others sound like judgemental jerks.” She smiled guiltily.  
“They weren’t all bad; Kiyone and Sentaro were always friendly too, and Miyako, Kaien’s wife, she was a real inspiration to me.” This wasn’t easy to talk about, but now she had started Rukia wanted to get it all off her chest. She glanced at Renji, wondering if he was really up for listening to all this or whether he was just being polite and waiting for her to finish...she didn’t want to be inflicting boredom on him.

On meeting his eyes she was relieved to see that he appeared interested and focused on her words, yet there was a sadness about him that threw her a little. He quickly adopted a neutral expression and asked if she was ok talking about this.  
“If you’re uncomfortable just say so, I don’t want to push you to share anything you’d rather not.” He was quite bemused when she laughed at this, but she couldn’t help but be amused at the way he had reacted, just as if he’d read her mind and heard her question his worth as a listener.

After reassuring him she was fine to talk, she settled back against the tree and, with a deep breath, decided to get to the point.  
“The truth is...Kaien was a brilliant lieutenant. We all loved him.” Renji noticed her smile waver.  
“No one could replace him, and I sure as hell don’t want to.”

The clouds had finally given and the soft sound of falling rain surrounded them, growing steadily heavier, the trees in the crescent offering only a little shelter. Rukia could hear her words still ringing in the air, out in the open now for anyone to hear. She corrected herself; her words had been muffled by the rain and their only witness had been Renji. Her heart beat fast as she waited for him to say something; scold her timidity or try to convince her that she was worthy of the promotion, something, anything.

She hadn’t realised she had been leaning quite so heavily on Renji’s arm, nor had she been conscious of the warmth it had provided her with until he drew it away. For a brief moment the draught between them left her cold, but then she was pressed to his side again, his arm wrapped around her shoulder and hugging her close.

After a stunned second she allowed herself to relax in his embrace, curling up against him and hiding her face in his chest, breathing in his familiar scent and letting his warmth cradle her while the rain fell ever harder around them. Rukia wasn't usually the hugging sort, Renji knew, but he hoped this gesture would convey his support more than his clumsy words could.

He could hear her sniffing against his kimono and was glad he could comfort her while she cried, however she then raised her head to look at him and he saw her cheeks weren't tear-stained after all.  
“You wearing perfume or something?" she asked, "You smell good.” He reddened.  
“I-it’s cologne,” he said defensively “just something I tried out.”  
He could practically see Yumichika smirking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um Renji, perfume and cologne are the same thing, but hey whatever preserves your dignity.


	4. Blurred

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which it rains, it rains some more, and some sandal-related seduction takes place. Kind of.

Cold rain-water dripped down her sleeve and she jolted awake. For just a moment she wondered where she was; the scent of rain permeated the air and it’s rushing sound filled her ears, she could see very little, and was lying on something warm. On remembering, she quickly sat upright with a surge of panic. She hadn’t been aware of dropping off; how long had she slept for? It was still dark, and the rain was still coming down steadily on the crescent of trees where they were hidden.

“Hey! Finally woke up then?” She turned to face Renji, feeling the anger bubble up inside her in response to his languid smile.

“How could you let me fall asleep?” she cried, wriggling out of his hold as he looked on in surprise. “What time is it? I need to get back,” she hurriedly tried to stand but her legs hadn’t fully woken up yet and Renji reached out to hold her steady as she wobbled.

“Woah, calm down! I’m sorry! You were only out for a little while; you said you’d had a tiring day so I just thought I’d let you rest, was I meant to poke you every five minutes or something?”

Rivulets of rain ran down his face and Rukia suddenly realised he was dripping wet.

“…were you sitting in the rain all the time I was sleeping?” she asked incredulously. He shrugged and wiped the rain from his face roughly with his sleeve.

“It’s just water. Besides, you were weighing me down in one place, remember.”

“Renji, I’m half your size. I probably weigh as much as a cat to you. God, just look at your hair,” She reached down to where he was still sat and held up the hair falling over his shoulder; it lay heavy in her hands, saturated with water.

“Hey, watch it,” Renji grumbled as she wrung it out, “What’s the point anyway, we’re only going to get even wetter trying to get home.” A deep growl of thunder tore through the night as if to confirm his words.

Renji got up and they stood and watched the rain for a moment, as if waiting for a solution to present itself to them. Rukia sighed.

“Fuck it, lets run.”

Before Renji could open his mouth she had darted back into the thicket of trees.

“Rukia – wait! You don’t know the way!” He yelled, bolting after her. Tree branches scratched at his arms and flung drops of rain in his face as he swiped them out of his way to catch up with her, and when he broke through the firs he saw she had slowed down and was looking over her shoulder at him questioningly.

“This way, right?” She was holding up a hand to shield her eyes from the rain as it lashed down, plastering her hair to her head.

“Yeah but take it easy, you’re gonna hit a tree if you’re not careful.” Renji huffed in reply, jogging over to her. Sticking her tongue out at him defiantly, she tore down the grassy hill ahead. “Hey!” He raced after her, and to his surprise he heard her laughing.

He had to run full pelt to catch up. The cascading rain was so loud that it erased all other sound, save his rapid breaths. At first he was concerned about her safety as she rushed on ever faster, but she wove expertly between the obstacles in her way, calling to him mockingly over her shoulder, and before he knew it her reckless abandon had got a hold on him too and he had joined her.

They leapt over sunken earth, slid down steep slopes, dodged trees, ducked under branches, skipped over rocks and flew across the ground. The darkness and rain made it difficult to see ahead, and the near precipitous angle of terrain caused a sensation of falling rather than running, but adrenaline carried them onwards as they laughed and cried out wildly into the night.

It was a thrilling feeling, soaring alongside Rukia, hearing her laugh ring out amidst the rush of rain and splash of their footfall, the look in her eyes so alive. With her there with him Renji felt he could keep running forever, never slowing down, never losing energy, just the two of them, existing in a blur.

* * *

 

Naturally, the descent was much swifter than the climb. They skidded to a stop at the bottom of the hill, grabbing at each other for balance but slipping over nonetheless, collapsing into a breathless pile of tangled limbs. It took them awhile to stop laughing and get to their feet again, before the mad dash continued down the road.

The sight of the Kuchiki mansion seemed to have a sobering effect on the two as they approached it; they slowed slightly and grew quiet as the imposing atmosphere of the grounds descended upon them. A couple of guards greeted Rukia from their sheltered posts with some confusion as she and Renji passed by in their sodden clothes.

They circled the great koi pond on their way; Renji’s eyes were drawn towards the water’s frosty surface, shattered by rain, with large phantoms of fish gliding calmly beneath. The trees grew tall here but they were unlike the sort from the hill, these ones didn’t cluster together with untamed branches that reached out in every direction, they were planted in an orderly arrangement, evenly spaced out and neatly pruned, without a single stray leaf breaking their visual symmetry. 

 Rukia surged on un-phased, but Renji couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable in these unfamiliar surroundings. He glanced up at the intimidating building towering over them as they drew near. He had seen the mansion before but never this up-close, never actually entered the grounds or walked the path leading up to the wide front entrance that was now in sight. A guard stood either side of the great doors, sheltered from the rain by the protruding veranda above them, and Rukia greeted them by name.

“Miss Kuchiki? Are you all right?” The first guard gasped as she and Renji arrived under the veranda, dripping wet. Rukia beamed at him as she squeezed water out of the bottom of her kimono.

“Never better. My friend is coming in for a cup of tea, if you would be so good as to open the door for us.” Renji turned to her in shock.

“What? No, I can’t!” She smirked at his expression and faced him, folding her arms.

“And why not?” He scratched the back of his head nervously.

“Well I’m not a noble am I? I’ve got no right to be here! Look, I’ll just head back, you dry off inside and have that tea, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He started to back off but she stepped after him.

“Renji, it’s pouring out there, just come inside for a drink until it’s stopped. And don’t worry, lowly peasant, you have the full permission of this noble standing right here.” She held her arms out in a flourish, grinning like a child, with strands of damp hair stuck to her face, her kimono scuffed and hands muddy.

Renji couldn’t help but smile at her, but he still hesitated. The place seemed to have its own spiritual pressure forcing down on him, one not unlike his Captain’s own presence.

“Come on, you must be dying to see inside!” Rukia moved further towards him and took his hand, pulling him back to the door. He went with her, but found himself blurting out,

“What about Captain Kuchiki?”

“My brother?” Rukia paused and considered. “To be honest, of all the people I could’ve brought home, you’re probably the one person he’d not mind coming in.” she studied him with narrowed eyes.

“Is that what you’re worrying about? Seriously Renji don’t be stupid, he respects you, you know.” She turned back to speak with the guards again, deciding this settled the matter, leaving Renji to try to process this new information. The captain, respect _him_? He felt some proof may be in order before he could believe that.

It really was freezing out; as the doors were being opened Renji became aware that his left hand was the only part of him that felt warm, and realised Rukia was still holding it. She tightened her grip as she led him in, in doing so managing to warm his face a little too.

The hall they stepped into made Renji’s jaw drop. The first thing that hit him was the sheer height of the ceiling; the more he craned his neck the more it rose, until his eyes were finally blinded by one of many extravagant light fittings. Feeling quite giddy, he lowered his gaze to face the rest of the hall; a wide space that rendered him exposed and insect-like. He found himself feeling dirty all of a sudden, like he was a stain on an otherwise spotless white sheet.

Rukia nudged him and he spun around to find a servant handing him a towel.

“Oh…thanks.” He took it from the girl’s gloved hand, meeting her eyes briefly. She wore an alert expression and quickly lowered her eyes from his, silently retreating with a small bow. Despite his strange surroundings, Renji found that small interaction the most surreal thing of all.

“You alright, Renji?” Rukia was drying her hair with her towel and had already slipped off her sandals. “What’s with that face?”

“What face?” he grumbled, quickly following her lead, annoyed at his transparency. She smiled while watching him busy himself; flinging the towel over one shoulder, wrenching at the hair band holding his hair up and trying to use one foot to pry the sandal off the other.

“Here let me, you’re a right mess.” Draping her towel round her shoulders, she bent down to untie his sandals. Her small hands moved deftly as they untied the straps, lightly caressing his ankles as she removed the shoes, and he blinked down at her, strands of hair falling into his eyes as they came free from the band.  

“Ugh, they’re covered in mud,” she said, holding them between thumb and forefinger as another servant rushed forward to retrieve them.  Rukia thanked him and straightened up, catching Renji’s eye, but he was suddenly very intent on drying his hair and buried his head in the towel.

“Come on, just wrap it up or something, I want to show you around!” she protested impatiently, prodding his stomach so he doubled up and cursed.

“All right! Give me a second will you…” he grumbled, hastily gathering it all in the towel so it was held up on his head. He prayed it would dry quickly; it had just occurred to him how awful it would be to bump into Captain Kuchiki looking like this, and in his own home as well…Renji could only hope the man was asleep or preoccupied with something as he followed Rukia down the hall. Wishful thinking really. Somehow he knew that wouldn’t be the case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya: Renji?  
> Byakuya: ...  
> Byakuya: Why are you wearing my Admiral Seaweed towel on your head?  
> Renji: ...*sweats nervously*


	5. Sheltered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which tea is served, the work of the Kuchiki laundry perfumer does not go unnoticed, and Renji's hair game is strong.

“Have you tried practicing every day?  Implementing it into your training regime?” Rukia was lying on her stomach, propped up on her elbows with a half-eaten piece of wagashi in one hand.

“Well no, I don’t fancy being blown up that often to be honest.” Renji licked his fingers and shifted forward on his cushion to reach for another snack off of the squat table. Rukia sighed and rolled onto her back.

“You’re never going to learn kido through avoidance, Renji. Just think of it as the more you practice, the smaller the explosions will get.” Renji snorted.

“Oh, good.” They were sprawled on the floor of what Rukia had announced as, “the smaller lounge,” which left Renji wondering just how big the regular lounge could be. It was a generously-sized, plush room with a blazing fireplace greatly welcomed by both, and they had soon been supplied with a steaming pot of tea and a plate piled high with treats, much to the delight of Renji’s sweet tooth.

The two of them had changed into some dry clothes; Rukia wore a deep violet kimono of hers fastened with a jet black sash, while Renji had been lent some guest robes of a smoky grey material that were just a little too small to be comfortable, leaving him showing a bit more arm and leg than he would have liked. He had been reluctant to change to begin with, but since he was soaked to the skin it was hardly like he had a choice, and though he wouldn't admit it, he was transfixed by the beautifully soft feel of the expensive fabric.

Rukia chewed thoughtfully. “Isn’t Hinamori good at kido?”

Renji nodded, taking a bite. “Yeah, Kira too. They’re naturals.”

Rukia examined her friend upside-down with exasperation. “Well, why not ask them to help you?” In response he merely made a face and shrugged, then reached for the plate of sweets again. She sat up and crossed her legs, facing him properly.

“Why not?” she pressed. He glanced over at her, hand hovering above the plate.

“I dunno…they’ve got enough to get on with, and so do I. I told you, I’m not all that bothered about kido.” He settled back on his cushion, wagashi in hand.

“I’m way more comfortable with a sword. Sure Momo and Kira know more about spells or whatever than me, but I could always kick either of their arses sparring.”

“Oh, sure,” Rukia replied, folding her arms on the table as she leaned forward with a sly smile, “and what if you were facing an enemy without your sword?” He grinned and mirrored her movements, bending down towards her and lowering his voice.

“Well, I do have a certain destructive kido technique, I could always just blow them up.” Rukia gave a short laugh.

“Take them down with you. Quite a drastic method.” She picked her cup of tea off the table and raised it to her lips. “You know, I could give up a little spare time to help you with the basics, if you wanted.” Renji seemed surprised at this proposition.

“Oh, I…n-no, don’t worry about it. You’ve just got a new job and I don’t want to be a distraction. Thanks for the offer though.” He mentally hit himself for mentioning the promotion again and stuffed the wagashi in his mouth. Rukia, however, appeared un-phased.

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” she replied nonchalantly, “I think a distraction from work is just what I need right now, and you do prove to be quite a good distraction.” Propping her elbows on the table, she looked at him over the brim of her tea cup. “You up for it?”

He was, of course he was up for spending more time with her, but he wasn’t going to let her get away with that last comment.

“Am I up for being used as a distraction? Hmm…” she lost sight of him as he lay back on the floor. “To be honest, I can think of better things to do than blow myself up for your entertainment, little miss noble.” Rukia bristled at his words and shot round to the side of the table to where he lay with his arms folded behind his head, the tattoos on his arms visible as the material rode up. “Call me that again and I’ll chuck you out in the rain, idiot!” she fumed.

“Why Rukia, that’s not very _noble_ of you…” Renji received a sharp kick to the side of his ribs before Rukia sighed and lowered herself down next to him.

“Alright, sorry, you’re not a distraction, I didn’t mean that.” She knelt as he winced, propping himself up on his elbow and rubbing his side. “What I mean is, I need a friend.” She looked across at him “and you prove to be quite a good one of those.” Renji felt a sort of pride swell up inside him, yet at the same time found himself wincing again.

“Fine I’ll let you off,” he said, managing to grin at her, “even though you’re probably just saying that sappy bullshit to shut me up.” She smiled back at him and cocked her head to one side.

“Your hair is so long now.” Renji hadn’t even noticed his hair towel slipping off as he had moved his hands from behind his head, yet now he glanced down at the streaks of red spilling over his shoulders.

“Oh…yeah. It grows pretty fast.” He couldn’t help feeling a little exposed in front of her with his hair down, he could barely remember the last time she had seen him like this. His hand automatically moved to brush some hair in front of his forehead; he had taken the wet bandana off to wrap his hair up but now he grew self-conscious of his dramatic hairline and the tattoos that decorated it, all on show for once.

A small hand suddenly came into view and tugged at a crimson strand. He stared at Rukia’s curious face as she wound the hair carefully around her fingers.

“It’s like a spirit ribbon.” She commented quietly, the words just a stray thought passing through her lips. Her expression was so soft and concentrated, eyelids lowered as she focused on the lock, and it was all he could do to resist the urge to reach out and touch her own ebony hair that was falling forward around her face like a shadow.

The door opened. The two of them jumped, causing Renji to all but fall backwards again, as Byakuya’s heavy spiritual pressure preceded his entrance into the room. On catching sight of the two of them he paused and studied their close proximity wordlessly.

“Brother!” Rukia exclaimed with a cautious smile, rising to her feet. “Renji walked me back to the manor and I invited him in for tea, seeing as the weather is so harsh outside.” Renji quickly stood and tugged at the hem of his kimono before bowing. “Thank you for your hospitality, Captain!” The bow brought Renji’s hair flopping down in front of him and he silently cursed his relaxed appearance; loose hair, borrowed clothes too small for him, and found lounging on the floor...what must he look like, making himself at home in his Captain’s own residence?

“Good evening Rukia, Renji.”  Renji glanced up at Byakuya’s calm response, but the man’s eyes were still hard as stone. He turned them onto his sister. “Yes, I was alerted that you had returned…with a guest.” The eyes flicked briefly back at Renji who was hastily tying his hair back. “There was no need for you to walk, I had just sent the carriage to collect you. Or did you forget the arrangements for rainfall?” Rukia’s eyes widened.

“Oh yes! My apologies brother, I had forgotten…” Byakuya moved further into the room with smooth, measured steps. Seeing his captain out of uniform was beyond weird; Renji averted his eyes. He felt more like he was intruding every second that passed.

“I am surprised that you didn’t pass the carriage or see it at all on your way back.” Rukia’s eyes darted down at her shuffling feet before hesitantly answering her brother.

“Ah, well, Renji and I took another route, so we may have strayed from the road a little…” Byakuya’s frown deepened.

“I wouldn’t think it wise to stray from the path one is meant to take.” He appeared to be addressing both of them. Rukia lowered her gaze as Byakuya turned his to Renji.

“I appreciate you escorting Rukia home, even if there was no need. You may shelter here until the rain has stopped, then you may take your leave.” With that, he turned and exited the room as suddenly as he had arrived.

The atmosphere relaxed considerably and the two left in the room swapped glances.

Renji gave a shaky laugh. “Is every conversation with him so intense, even at home?”

“You think that was intense?” Rukia scoffed, turning back to the table. “You should come round for dinner some time.”

“Ha, that’ll be the day…” Rukia sat and watched him as he remained on his feet, fiddling with his ponytail.

“Hey, it’s only fair for you to be thrown out of your comfort zone too after the evening I’ve had.” She took a sip of tea while he rolled his eyes.

“You were just nervous at the start, you settled in fine afterwards. You actually got a warm welcome. I wouldn’t call what I just experienced ‘warm’. Lukewarm maybe.”

“Are you kidding?” Rukia shot back, “Tepid is Byakuya’s version of warm! He didn’t immediately throw you out on sight! He even _invited_ you to stay longer! Face it, he likes you.”

“That’s reading into things.” Renji dismissed with a shake of his head.

“Anyway,” Rukia continued, “maybe now you get why I was nervous of entering new 'territory'.” Renji grinned at her phraseology.

“At least my 'pack' was a tad more accepting of new-comers. I’ve never met someone as territorial as your brother.” Rukia flicked a crumb at him.

“Shut up. Your kimono’s riding up at the back.” Renji swore and spun around to try and see behind him, yanking the material down while she laughed.

 

* * *

 

The rain was still pelting down. Renji could hardly hear it; the walls of the mansion blocked out sound from the outside like they were in a giant protective bubble. Or rather, Renji thought, another dimension, as he struggled to relax and sleep in the most luxurious bedroom he had ever been in.

The rain hadn’t stopped, it had gotten worse, so a servant had come with a message from Byakuya to tell Renji that he could stay the night and leave in the morning, when the rain is sure to have died down. This came entirely unexpected to the lieutenant; he had refused at first but Rukia had countered his arguments.

“It’ll be great, Renji!” she had exclaimed, with raised clenched fists and shining eyes at the prospect of hosting a sleepover, but her enthusiasm had been quickly dampened by the news that Renji would be staying in a guest room, not hers.

He turned over, smiling slightly as he remembered her brief excitement. Pulling the thick blanket up to his chin and tucking his head down, he breathed in deeply and caught the pleasant scent of fresh, clean bedding.

He buried his nose in the blanket and breathed it in again. Surely bedding wasn’t meant to smell this good.  Did they use perfume to clean the sheets here or something? He wouldn’t be surprised. This privileged world was so alien to him it just felt crazy trying to sleep here like one of them, like it was normal to have been led to a ridiculously grand bathroom by a servant, then given bedclothes that were finer than Renji’s very best formal wear, and finally brought to a guest room that was so divine that it just didn’t feel right to him at all.

He laughed bitterly into his blanket. Did he really think so little of himself that he felt he could only stay somewhere that was appropriate for his “class,” that he wasn’t fit for this level of luxury? Fuck that. How many chances would he get to be in a place like this? Experiencing the good life and being pampered? Hell, he and Rukia had fantasized about places like this when they were younger, they would sit huddled on the gritty earth beneath a haphazardly constructed shelter made from whatever they had with them at the time to avoid the brunt of the rain, detailing exactly how the fireplace would blaze in their mansion home, the flames a glimmering honey-gold, dancing effortlessly to brighten and warm everyone nearby, how the decorations would glitter round the room so that wherever you looked you would find treasures, how food would overflow from never-ending bowls, all kinds of meat and fish, rice and pastries, sweets and fruits …every food you could think of, and they would shine of every colour.

Renji could feel his eyelids growing heavy under the weight of these memories. He was going to sleep, sleep _well_ in fact, and he was going to _enjoy_ it.

 

* * *

 

He dreamt of Inuzuri, of Rukia, and of snowfall. They sat next to each other on the white carpeted ground, beneath a short stump of a tree that bent over them like a parasol. They were young; Renji could see his bare arms in front of him were clean of tattoos, he was skinnier and he felt far smaller, hunched under the stick-like branches of the parasol-tree. Rukia’s features were child-like again and her nose and cheeks were rosy against her pale skin, like they had been in the past during cold weather.

She was rubbing her hands together, breathing a puff of warm air onto them, and Renji felt bad that he couldn’t offer her any covering to keep the cold at bay as he watched her cloud of breath dissipate into the air; they were both wearing ragged clothes that were all but useless at retaining warmth. Rukia stopped rubbing her hands all of a sudden and peered up at the sky from under the branches. With a delighted smile, she turned to Renji.

“Come on,” she spoke with a hushed excitement and, reaching up, pushed the parasol-tree away from them. She stood as it fell, until it had collapsed into the snow and she was on her feet with frost shining on her rags.

“Come on Renji,” she repeated expectantly, and he grabbed hold of her outstretched hand as she heaved him up beside her. The falling snow now dotted their cheeks and hair as they stood unprotected and Renji wiped his face irritably, but when he looked at Rukia she had tilted her head up to meet the snowflakes.  He followed her gaze and watched the snow falling in a complicated dance, spiralling, livening the cloudy sky with icy patterns.

She turned to him with an amused expression on her face, probably due to his clear uncomfortableness, and drew closer to him. He could see snowflakes in her eyelashes as she leaned forwards and her breath warmed his lips in a small cloud just before she kissed them.

The warmth spread through him as though thawing his frozen body, and when he opened his eyes he found Rukia’s face more mature and realised he was now bending down some way to be on her level. He held her cool, snow-flecked cheek in one hand but found heat deep in her eyes as she wrapped her arms around his waist, sending a chill up his spine. He stroked his thumb over her skin before leaning down to meet her lips again.

She held his hand and led him through the snow, away from the parasol tree. His breath was becoming laboured, heavy condensation hanging in the air as he tried to fight the fatigue that the returning cold was smothering him with.

Rukia seemed unaffected entirely; she marched on at a speedy pace, glancing back at him impatiently while he stumbled behind her.

“Rukia…wait…” he forced the words out; he could feel her grip loosening.

“We have to keep moving. Can you make it?” She looked back at him with a sternness and he honestly didn’t know if he could. His legs were seizing up and his chest felt so tight he could barely breathe.

“We can make it, Renji.” His eyes were closing.

“Don’t stop now,” her voice was a warm whisper in his ear. “We can.”

 

* * *

 

He woke to the darkness he had fallen asleep to. Sitting up, he brought his legs round out of bed and rested his arms on his knees, loose plait hanging forwards over his shoulder as he sat completely still and listened to the night, wondering.

The night brought to his ears the sound of soft footsteps, and he raised his eyes to catch sight of a flicker of light coming from the hallway. He remained where he was for a few seconds, but as the light retreated he found himself moving to the door.

“Rukia?”

She turned; Renji was standing at his door, peering at her inquisitively in the light of the lantern she was holding. She felt embarrassed, though she wasn’t altogether sure why.

“Renji…did I wake you?” He shook his head.

“I was already awake. What are you up to?”

“Just need some water,” she replied glancing down the hall, then back at him, scratching the back of her head dozily, “fancy tagging along?”

He could see her dark hair sticking up all over the place in the gentle glow of the lantern. He gave her a smile as he stepped out of his room and closed his door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good thing Renji's dream didn't go further than a kiss, otherwise that meeting in the hall could have been a whole lot more awkward.


	6. Reflection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Renji's sideburns are contemplated, art is discussed, and it finally stops raining, so naturally they go outside where it's wet everywhere. Guys, you're in a mansion containing several rooms with fireplaces, just stay inside.

The night was still for the first time in hours. Small raindrops still fell here and there but the storm seemed to have passed, so the two of them sat on the porch overlooking one of the manor’s many gardens with their drinks. Soft lantern light bathed the porch in wavering orange hues, while the garden was dressed in the cool, opalescent shades of moonlight. Rukia sipped her water slowly, her eyes travelling round the cherry blossom trees glinting silver in the breeze.

The torrential rain had left its mark; a great patchwork of puddles had formed over the grass beyond where they sat, leaving the un-sheltered ground shimmering as if the whole garden were a lake, with cherry blossom trees emerging from its depths. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath of the cool air, the fresh scent of rain so soothing. The only sound she could hear was the chorus of crickets, and she found herself glancing over at her unusually quiet companion.

He had one leg bent, foot resting on the wood panels, whilst the other stretched out and dangled over the garden so his toes just glanced the surface of a puddle. He was resting back on his hands; head tilted towards the sky and plait hanging behind him, seemingly absorbed by the stars above them, visible now that the clouds had cleared. She smiled, taking advantage of her friend’s obliviousness to study his profile. His forehead was, of course, covered with those odd, tribal-style markings that merged with his eyebrows, relaxed and un-furrowed for once, which was nice to see. She had noticed that he frowned a lot nowadays, not that he used to wear a cheerful look all that often, but she didn’t like the thought of a frown being his default expression. His face always lit up so warmly when he smiled.

His nose was long and pointed, leading down to a jutting chin and strong jaw-line, nicely complimented by the sharp angle of his sideburns. She found herself smirking at their careful, deliberate shape; she could just imagine him taking the time to shave them perfectly. He had started growing out his sideburns back at the Academy. She knew he had a distaste for facial hair and always kept his upper lip and jaw free of it, yet every time they met she could see a little more hair growth on the side of his face. It was something she had always meant to comment on, yet some way or another always missed the chance to. Time spent with Renji during their Academy days got fewer and farther between as time went by and their separate classes took them in different directions, until that day when their interactions had stopped for good.

Rukia dropped her gaze slightly as she remembered their separation. How excited and pleased he had been for her as he’d congratulated her so enthusiastically, the grip he’d had on her shoulders, his mouth laughing, his eyes…and the feel of his hand slipping from hers as she’d left him there. His appearance was different enough now, what with the tattoos, longer hair, not to mention that she could’ve sworn he’d grown taller, if that was even possible, yet as she studied him, with the breeze pulling strands of hair into her vision, she wondered how much he had changed as a person over their 40 years apart.

Renji turned to her, breaking her reverie, and she reflexively looked away in response to being caught staring.

“You ok?” she heard him ask. She hesitated, her eyes following a leaf drifting down to the waterlogged grass, watching the ripples spread across the puddle from where the leaf now lay, floating. She shook her head distractedly.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine…” He was curious as to what she had been thinking; he had been lost in thought himself, this night felt almost dreamlike. The cool chill in the air contrasted with the warmth of the lantern light falling across Rukia, honeying her skin as she curled her legs up, hugging them to her chest.

“You cold? We can move back inside,” he began, but Rukia cut him off.

“No, I like it out here.” she wouldn’t look at him and he wondered if she wanted him to go. He pushed the thought to the back of his mind; she had invited him to come along after all, surely she did want the company. He continued on the subject he'd brought up.

“Do you actually feel the cold, now that you have an ice zanpakuto?” Rukia did turn her head slightly this time to peer over at him quizzically.

“What do you mean, ‘now’? Sode No Shirayuki has always been an ice zanpakuto.”

“Well yeah,” Renji replied with a shrug, “but back in the academy you hadn’t released her yet, so…well, I’m kind of out of touch with how things have changed for you since we…y’know. Stopped talking.”

She was staring at him strangely now; he hadn’t said anything wrong, had he? To his relief, her face broke into a smile.

“You’re right, sorry,” she shifted her body so that she was facing him, kneeling, and suddenly produced a sketchbook and pen seemingly out of nowhere…her pocket? Behind her? Did she have a secret compartment under the porch?? Renji barely had time to speculate before Rukia continued, flicking off the pen lid.

“Allow me to explain."

 

* * *

 

"Sode No Shirayuki is, like you said, an ice zanpakuto.” The small bunny-Rukia was holding a sword aloft triumphantly, a long ribbon trailing after it, with snowflakes drifting around her. Renji was now sat cross-legged opposite the frantically scribbling girl, leaning forward and squinting at the page in the dim lantern light. She shuffled towards him and held the book closer to the flame so he could get a better view.

“Whilst in release, I am indifferent to the below freezing temperatures of my powers,” Bunny-Rukia was currently annihilating her hollow enemies with pillars of ice, and appeared to be giving a thumbs up and winking whilst surrounded by snowflakes.

“However, when I am not fighting I am affected by the cold just like anyone else.” Now sword-less and shivering in the snow, bunny-Rukia was wrapped in a scarf, with a bobble-hat pulled over her ears.

"Ah, ok, that makes sense," Renji said, watching with captivation as Rukia flipped the pages to animate her falling snowflakes. Finally, the artist sat up and twirled her pen.

“Any questions?”

Renji narrowed his eyes contemplatively at her pictures as Rukia waited tensely for his response.

“…When did you get so good at drawing?”

After scanning his face for traces of sarcasm, and finding none, Rukia’s face flushed with pride.

“W-well my brother has been a great motivation for my art, I must admit!” she exclaimed happily.

“You must have seen his Admiral Seaweed designs!” Renji nodded slowly, thinking of Captain Kuchiki’s green, oddly shaped creation.

“Yeah…but I’d say yours are better.”

Rukia glanced down in embarrassment.

“Oh no, I still have a way to go to reach my brother’s level…but thank you.” Looking up at Renji again, she added, “I could throw some art lessons into that time slot I offered to spend teaching you kido you know…” He smiled broadly.

“When do we start?”

A sudden familiar noise shattered the quiet around them and they jumped to their feet, heads turned towards the source.

“An emergency meeting? At this time of night?” Rukia‘s eyebrow’s knitted together in concern as she grabbed the lantern and quickly led the way back indoors.

“We’ll have to get dressed and leave immediately. I’ll meet you in the entrance hall, Renji.” She started back to her room but Renji called out after her.

“Ah, Rukia! Where is the entrance hall again? This place is so big…” She looked back at him in exasperation, the lantern light flickering restlessly around the room.

“Forget it, I’ll meet you outside your room instead. Now come on!”

“Right!” They sped back down the hall to the repeated sounding of the alarm gong; clearly the storm wasn’t over yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rukia: Right! I'm ready!  
> Renji: Rukia...what are you wearing on your head?  
> Rukia: It's called a bobble-hat Renji, I bought it in the human world.  
> Renji:...  
> Rukia: Well it's cold outside! Didn't you pay attention to my comic?!


	7. Beneath the Surface

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sasakibe disapproves of multiple things, (Can you count them all? What fun!) Matsumoto has an inkling, and swim time is over.

The lieutenant meeting room was buzzing with drowsy, confused conversation. Sasakibe scanned the room disapprovingly, wrinkling his nose at the alcoholic odour that hung around those who were obviously drunk. They must have been out late, at the pub together. He couldn’t help wondering if there had been a lieutenant outing…no there couldn’t have been, he hadn’t been informed of such an event and they wouldn’t have forgotten about him, right? He caught a whiff of sake and suddenly Matsumoto was at his shoulder.

“Hey, when are you gonna tell us what’s happening? It’s late, you know,” she slurred grumpily as he flinched away from her closeness. He composed himself and gave a small irritated cough while she looked on sleepily.  
“Lieutenant Matsumoto, please be patient. I will address the matter shortly when everyone has arrived.”  
“What, who’s not here?” She spun around to the rest of the room a little too quickly and leant a hand against the wall before squinting at the squad members accusingly.

 Sasakibe glanced over the register in his hand wearily.“Abarai of 6th Division and Kuchiki of 13th are yet to arrive,” he sighed. Matsumoto’s ears pricked up. Sasakibe didn’t understand the spark of interest in her eyes, but in an instant she had turned away from him and pounced on Izuru as he was passing.

“Izuru! Renji and Rukia left the pub together, didn’t they?” he nodded quickly, perplexed by this abrupt assault.  
“Wh-why? Did something happen to them? I-is that what this meeting’s about??” Oblivious to her fellow lieutenant’s panic, Matsumoto released him and broke into a grin.

“Hmmm, maybe I underestimated Renji…or I was right about Rukia! Oh, it’s typical that the damn alarm had to go off now, just when they got some alone-time…” she heard a dismissive cough to her left.  
“Lieutenant Matsumoto, that is inappropriate talk.” Sasakibe stated firmly, “I can assure you this alarm is very necessary, and as for making such insinuations about other officers-” The doors burst open as those very officers all but fell into the room and everyone stopped to stare.

“WE’RE HERE.” Renji announced loudly between breaths.  
“SORRY FOR BEING LATE, LIEUTENANT SASAKIBE, SIR!” called his companion, similarly breathless. They were met with a relieved sigh from Izuru, a suggestive grin from Rangiku and a stern shake of the head from the squad 1 lieutenant.

“Yes, well, make sure you arrive sooner next time or we shall have to start without you.” Sasakibe gave Rukia a prominent look. “These meetings are important, Kuchiki. I can let this instance slide as it is your first, but I hope to see an improvement next time.” Rukia felt shame gather in her stomach and creep up to tighten around her throat, paralysing her voice.

“Ah, sir it wasn’t her fault,” Renji spoke up, and she sucked in a breath.  
“Captain Kuchiki insisted that we took the carriage and it broke down halfway because the heavy rainfall had damaged the road.” He explained. Rukia stiffened slightly.  
“N-not that it was my brother’s fault either!” she was quick to point out.  
“Well…” Renji found himself challenged by Rukia’s narrowed eyes. “Well, you have to admit it would’ve been quicker if we’d not taken the carriage at all; we were set to go on foot but it was the captain who stopped us…”  
“Oh please, Renji, you’re the one who spent ages doing your hair and looking for that damn bandana-“ Sasakibe’s authoritative cough silenced them at once.  
“There are far more serious matters to discuss than your squabbles!” He turned away from them and headed back to the front of the room.  
“Now, can I please have everybody’s attention? The meeting has begun.”

 

* * *

 

“This is going to be brief as we have no time to lose. Most unfortunately, this evening’s storm has not passed through without causing problems. Reports are coming in of widespread damage to the Southern and Eastern Rukongai districts, including destroyed houses and roads due to high winds, torrential rain, and subsequent severe flooding.” 

The lieutenants’ sombre silence punctuated the seriousness of Sasakibe’s words. Rukia’s and Renji’s eyes met in a subtle glance. Could Inuzuri be one of the Southern districts that had been hit? Rukia frowned to herself. Would she care if it was? Why show favouritism for such a town, it wasn't like she had fond memories of the place, if anything she tried to forget the hardships they had been subject to in their childhood there.

“Furthermore,” Sasakibe continued gravely, “it is understood that the floods have attracted water-type hollows to these areas. It has therefore been decided that certain squads will be dispatched to the districts in need. Your aim will be to vanquish any hollow and get civilians to safety, taking the injured to the nearest medical point secured by Squad 4.” 

The Squad 1 lieutenant paused to survey the officers before him, somewhat doubtfully. As he’d expected from the strong smell of alcohol, many of them were clearly unfit for leading their squad into a battle and rescue mission. He sighed. Perhaps he ought to advise the Head Captain on which squads to deploy first; at least he could spot a few lieutenants who appeared sobre and capable.  
“Your captains will go over the details with you after their meeting when the Head Captain has set the orders. Return to your barracks to await further instruction.”

As the room emptied, Momo made a beeline for Rukia, Renji and Izuru.  
“Guys can you believe this?!” she whispered rather loudly, “How terrible!”  
“Yeah, it doesn’t sound good…” Renji replied, frowning deeply. Rukia was aware of his tension; during the meeting she had seen his jaw clench and eyes harden at the news.

“I’m just glad that my hometown in west Rukongai wasn’t caught up in this,” Momo continued with relief. Renji and Rukia were both from the affected South area, but they couldn’t hold Momo’s tactless comments against her while her cheeks were still pink from a few too many drinks. They agreed with her instead, heading out of the room together to prepare for whatever there was to come.

 

* * *

 

The soul reapers leapt across the roof tops that were still intact, scanning the street below, their eyes shimmering back at them. Rukia paused on top of a building with half of its structure missing. Bending down, she carefully placed a hand on the ragged tin edge of the torn roof and focused. Her eyes narrowed at the clear and vicious essence of a hollow.

“Lieutenant Kuchiki?” Rukia glanced back at the squad members gathered behind her.  
“Stay alert,” She commanded, straightening up and looked around sharply, “This is the work of a hollow; it may still be nearby.” She continued to lead the squad through the wreckage, they ventured down into the water to inspect the insides of the houses but found nothing, soul or otherwise, not that they were really expecting to, since the street had already been swept by squad 4 in an initial search for survivors and bodies. Squad 13 were running a second survey, partly for ensuring no resident had been left behind, and partly for-

The ungodly roar tore through the air and ran through Rukia like the blade of a sword. In one fluid movement she turned to the source of the sound and unsheathed Sode No Shirayuki, her squad members quickly taking up similar stances around her. The hollow was emerging from the water, crawling up onto a pile of rubble next to a collapsed house with its webbed claws, the dripping fangs protruding from it’s skull fixed in a macabre grin as it watched them with empty eye sockets.

“Get out of the water!” Rukia ordered immediately; as they had been informed, this foe was clearly aquatic and would have the upper hand if they remained where they were. Once up on the roof, Rukia addressed them with speed, never looking away from the beast below them.

“I’ll approach it first, we need to analyse how it attacks before fighting head on, so don’t just jump in without thinking, understood?”  
She noticed the hollow’s spiritual pressure was getting stronger as it came out of the water; was it able to mask it’s presence when submerged? That would explain why they hadn’t noticed it until the last second.

“Be careful, Lieutenant!” Rukia didn’t allow herself a glance in the direction of the concerned voice, but replied,  
“There is no need to worry. I have faced worse than this.” With a wry smile she added in a mutter, “At least there's no pub involved here.”

The hollow had a long, serpentine body, covered with pallid armoured scales, but it refrained from leaving the water completely as it sized up its opponent.  
_In your element, are you?_ Rukia thought. She flash-stepped around the hollow as it let rip another gut-wrenching howl, and flew at it from behind.  
_Well_ , Sode No Shirayuki glinted as it swung down in the moonlight,  
_So am I!_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GO RUKIA GO  
> *Cue fast-paced song to fight to*
> 
> Also, yes, they totally forgot about inviting Sasakibe to the lieutenant's outing. Whoops.
> 
> (ALSO also, sorry to the lovely anon on tumblr to whom I told I was going to update as soon as I could way back in October! I'm terrible with time management and really need to sort that out! I hope you enjoy this chapter anyway, I'm going to do my best to deal with life and update the next chapter sooner!!)


	8. Rising

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rukia strategises, Ikkaku shares his secret to improving tea, the sun makes it's debut appearance, and it is discovered that Renji spent the night at freakin' Kuchiki Mansion.

For the second time that night Rukia found herself running full speed through the darkness, but this time she was alone, and exhilaration was replaced with pure survival instinct. She glanced back to see the hollow gaining on her; that was good, it was focusing on her and not her troops.

As she had suspected, this was a more complex beast than your average hollow. Whenever it disappeared beneath the surface of the water it’s spiritual pressure also vanished, leaving her straining her eyes in the dim light for any disturbance in the depths that would give its position away.

Rukia leapt to the side as the Hollow’s tail came slashing down where she had been a split-second before. She regained footing on some high ground and watched as it drew the long, bony appendage back over its head, its scythe-like tip poised to strike again.

With a deep breath, she shifted her balance and lowered her body, sword held out in front of her. The hollow hadn’t hesitated to demonstrate its abilities, attacking mercilessly with no intention of leaving an opening. Rukia had taken it all in.

The whip-like body that changed direction suddenly to catch you off guard, the lunge followed by a snap of fangs or the raking of claws, the thrust of the scorpion tail that only came from directly above, and, of course, the attack that came from below her, beneath the surface of the water. This last attack was the only one that still remained quite unpredictable, but nonetheless Rukia decided she was well enough informed about her enemy to finish this fight.

A dodge to the right evaded the tail thrust, a swivel on her toes and two-handed slash to the left ensured she wouldn’t have to worry about evading it again. The scythe-tip clattered to the ground as blood erupted from the open wound and the hollow screamed in pain and rage. Faint cheers from Rukia’s squad were just about audible over the hollow, but she could already see it’s next move and gritted her teeth. With a flick of its flexible body, the hollow made a dive for the water.

 

* * *

  

The bonfire crackled and spat a little; Renji could tell that the dampness in the air wasn't doing the burning wood any good as he sat hunched in front of it, trying to keep warm. The ground he was seated on was dusty and hard, littered with pebbles and, well, litter.

"Sun's gonna rise soon." A voice commented from behind him. He turned around to find Ikkaku; light and shadow battling over his form as he approached the flickering flames, holding two cups of steaming tea. He offered one to Renji who accepted it gratefully.

Ikkaku sat on an empty, upturned supplies crate next to him with a contented sigh.  
"We've done good tonight," He said, pulling a small flask off of his belt, "these people are at least safe for now, next step is all the re-building of the houses and roads that were damaged." After pouring some of the contents of his flask into his tea, he passed it to Renji who added some to his own.

They were sitting outside an emergency shelter in Southern district 64 where residents had been evacuated to. Squads 6 and 11 were assigned to this area, and after having helped rescue those in the wreckage and battled any hollows they had encountered, some of them had regrouped at the shelter. Tea was being supplied for everyone as they rested, but only a few were dotted around the fire, their combined exhaustion resulting in not much conversation, leaving the song of burning wood to fill the air instead. Renji felt as half-asleep as the other officers, Ikkaku on the other hand was still buzzing from his last fight.

"You should have seen it!" He said leaning towards Renji as he recounted the event with enthusiasm, "The other hollows were nothing compared to this one! It was three times my size, at least, and at one point it hit me hard into the water and I thought I was a goner for sure..." The energy in his voice was only tiring Renji out even more. He drank from his cup as Ikkaku continued and nearly gagged from the intensity of the added alcohol that he'd completely forgotten about. Ikkaku broke off from his tale to laugh at such a reaction.

"That's the kick this godawful tea needs, believe me," He grinned, raising his own beverage between them. "The fire warms the dawn, but the drink warms the soul." He clinked his cup against Renji's and drained it's remains; Renji could only wonder how since his was still boiling hot. Ikkaku examined him, suddenly curious.

"What's up with you? Am I having a conversation with myself, huh?" he demanded. Renji merely replied with a yawn. Ikkaku nudged him with his elbow, (Renji rubbed his arm irritably, a nudge from Ikkaku could leave a bruise), and casually mentioned, "Matsumoto said you and Rukia hooked up after you left the pub. You wanna talk about that?"

Renji promptly spat his tea into the fire, causing a couple of flames to flare up from the fuel of watered-down alcohol. "She said what??!!" He exclaimed in wide-eyed disbelief while Ikkaku looked satisfied.

"Nice to hear your voice again! Even if it is cracking a little!" Renji faced him with sleep-deprived desperation. "What the hell has Rangiku been saying??"

"The real question is, how much of it is true?" Ikkaku pondered infuriatingly.

"Wha-we-nothing happened!" Renji cried out, his face heating up.

"Hmmm...not buying it." Ikkaku opened up his flask again and took a swig before continuing.

"What I heard is you two left the Butterfly together, then you also arrived at the lieutenant meeting together, talking about a carriage ride from the Kuchiki mansion..." He shook his head. "But there's no way you could've spent the night at freakin' Kuchiki Mansion, right?"

Ikkaku waited for confirmation. He didn't get any. Renji gave him a guilty look.

"You spent the night at freakin' Kuchiki Mansion?!" Renji hushed him quickly, glancing around.

"Look, I walked Rukia back home but it started raining so she invited me in," he explained in a rush, "like I said, nothing happened. We had tea." As he said it, Renji felt the disappointment rise up inside him like bile. _Nothing happened_.

"Well I'm thinking something must have happened for you to be getting so defensive like this," Ikkaku persisted, and Renji turned back to the fire somewhat glumly.

"We just...talked. It was nice. Like old times." Ikkaku frowned.

"Yeah, you look real chipper," He said bluntly, "Well the 'old times' are over and done with; you need to stop living in the past, Renji, it's not doing you any good. Things are different for both of you now, you don't need to go by the same pattern you've always followed. And heck, she knows it too! Did you even consider she might've invited you in for more than just tea?" Renji looked like he'd been hit by lightning.

"What?!" He spluttered, "Don't be stupid, like that would ever pass through her mind! God's sake Ikkaku, you don't understand how she sees me."

"Neither do you, idiot!" Ikkaku fumed, "you need to stop assuming how people think! I know you do the same bloody thing with your Captain too, you beat yourself up all the time and never accept appreciation from others." He looked down at Renji from his elevated seat and the orange glare of the flames glimmered in his eyes. "How are you meant to win your battles if you're always against yourself?"

It was quiet round the bonfire as the two of them held eye contact, then Renji finally looked away and sighed, burying his tired head in his hands.

"Can we do this another time?" He mumbled. A sudden surge of spiritual pressure tore through him and his head snapped upright.

"You feel that?" Ikkaku said quietly, scanning the dark town sprawling out behind them "someone must be up against a hollow." He turned back to see Renji on his feet, eyes searching the horizon.

"That's Rukia's shikai." He said, trying to get a better sense of where she was.

"Speak of the devil!" Ikkaku laughed, but on sensing Renji's tension he stood with him and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, relax, she can handle this, right?"

Renji nodded, "Yeah, of course." He knew that. It would be an insult to her if he went to help...but maybe he could go to watch the fight? Just to put his mind at rest instead of sitting here blind, clinging to her reiatsu, with only images from Ikkaku's tales of near-deadly aquatic hollow battles swarming around his mind.

"If you must go to her, don't get involved with her fight." Ikkaku said firmly.

"I know." Renji agreed. Ikkaku removed his hand from his friend's shoulder and watched him flash-step away.

As he walked away from the bonfire, Ikkaku hoped Renji would think about what he'd said tonight. He wasn't sure how to get the man's self-confidence up without yelling at him to pull himself together, and somehow that didn't seem like the right approach. Maybe Yumichika would have an idea, his break was coming up soon so Ikkaku could bring it up then. For now though, he headed off to get a refill of that godawful tea.

 

* * *

 

The squad 13 officers braced themselves as the freezing wind swept over them, enclosing the whole area in cold, moisture-rich air.

A thin stream of steam rose from the tip of the white zanpakuto as Rukia held it aloft, but she was too late. She landed on a lopsided building and glared down at the widening ripples; all that remained of the hollow.

A slight hint of morning light was beginning to creep into the sky, and she noticed a change in the water. In the centre of the growing ripples, the deep blue was wavering, darkening, until a rusty red mist gradually bloomed outwards like a ghostly flower.

Blood. The wound from the hollow's tail was still bleeding. Rukia watched, unblinking, as a faint red trail was drawn out in the water. She stayed completely quiet and entirely still in a half-crouch, cat-like, only her eyes moving as they followed the trail, the muscles in her arms and legs held taught in anticipation.

The trail led away from her in a wide curve, she readied herself as she saw it turn back to her; she knew the hollow had a long body and so tried to judge where it's head could be in relation to the blood coming from it's wounded tail tip.

Suddenly turning again, the trail zig-zagged away from her, and though Rukia was grateful for the visual aid in the gradual light of the early morning, she could already see how the red was beginning to spread slowly across the surface, the zig-zagging trails merging with each other until the water resembled the uncertain translucent pink of the sky above in the midst of sunrise.

The hollow's attack was quick and unexpected, (as she had been expecting), it burst out of the water from her right with its knife-like teeth bared in its open jaws. Rukia had been high up, she had been ready to move quickly, but still, as she sprang from the roof, the hollow managed to bite down on her right foot.

With a yell of agony, Rukia fell from the air and was only just able to control her landing. The hollow for once didn't speed after her immediately, it seemed to leer at her with her blood dripping from its fangs. The hot surge of pain pulsed through her foot with each frantic heartbeat, but now was not the time to dwell on that.

With immense effort, Rukia pushed herself up to stand on her left foot, furious at herself for letting this happen, but the hollow was out of the water now. No more hesitation. She lifted Sode no Shirayuki, her icy blue reiatsu flaring up around her as she punctured the roof top in front of her four times in a semi-circle. The hollow was coming for her now, claws outstretched and its roar tearing through the air, but the name of her attack pierced through it's noise as her sword had the ground.

"Tsugi no mai, Hakuren!!"

  ~~~~

Renji watched captivated as the avalanche rushed from Rukia's zanpakuto towards the oncoming enemy, but to his dismay the hollow dived to the side and avoided the brunt of the attack. Just as he was cursing the outcome, he realised there was no need; Rukia hadn't been aiming at the hollow, but at the water behind it. He allowed himself a short laugh as he saw the flooded road freeze over, that was certainly a way of getting one up on an aquatic opponent!

The squad 13 officers he had joined were shouting encouragement but Renji restrained himself since she wouldn't expect him to be there and he didn't want to distract her. He kept his arms folded in front of him and watched the fight intently through narrow eyes. 

 

She gave the hollow a small victorious look through the cloud of mist; no more hidden spiritual pressure and surprise attacks, thank you very much. Even better; part of it's tail and one back leg had gotten frozen in her attack and the sight of this gave her some satisfaction as she winced at the throb of her own foot. She breathed deeply, trying to overcome the blinding pain and focus on her next move.

The hollow was currently grappling at the side of a building; with the chunky ice weighing it down on one side it was trying to regain balance. It seemed panicked now, turning this way and that, until it's blank gaze fell upon the group of soul reapers further back, cheering on their lieutenant.

Perhaps it sensed they were weaker than its current opponent. Perhaps it thought it could hurt her more by killing her friends and she was too injured to stop it. Perhaps it didn't think at all and it was murderous instinct that drove its decision to turn away from her altogether and start for her subordinates.

Silence fell amongst the officers as the hollow focused on them, and then fear arose in shouts as it scrabbled down the building towards the frozen river.

 _Shit_ Renji thought, going for Zabimaru at his belt and raising his voice to order everyone to stay calm. The hollow was nearly half way across the river when it happened. It's speed was already hindered due to the added weight of the frozen foot and tail, but now it slowed completely to a standstill, unable to move its legs.

Renji and the squad members gaped as the scene unfolded before them. Ice was slowly engulfing the hollow from its feet up its scaly body and it writhed angrily, still roaring and snapping its jaws in the direction of the group of soul reapers ahead. Renji raised his eyes to where Rukia was, at the edge of the frozen river behind the hollow, bent on one knee and with both hands on the hilt of her zanpakuto which was thrust into the ice beneath her. A trail of ice crystals joined the point where her sword split the ground to where the hollow now stood, frozen to the spot.

"Juhaku," she breathed, and her eyes met Renji's through the flecks of ice moving in the rays of the rising sun, a spectrum of colours glinting in the drops of light that danced in the air between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Rukia had never seen Renji looking so sparkly...
> 
> Reminder! ['Juhaku'](http://bleach.wikia.com/wiki/Juhaku) isn't one of Rukia's dances but it is another move we've seen her use in Hueco Mundo.


	9. Echo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which butterfly-mail is demonstrated, Renji's joke goes unappreciated, squad 13 are less than graceful, and I leave you all wishing Sentaro could make you morning tea.

Sode no Shirayuki sliced into the back of the hollow's head, sending ice flying in every direction, ending the fight for good. Everyone rushed over to Rukia as she leant on her sword panting, the squad a mass of excited and worried voices clamouring around her, but she refused to be overwhelmed.

She vaguely paid attention to the voices surrounding her, but her eyes searched through the tall officers for someone she had sworn she had seen, apparition like in the distance during her fight. Maybe it had just been a mixture of the water vapour in the air and the pain she was in playing tricks with her mind, creating a source of comfort in a desperate situation. Just as she was thinking this, two officers in front of her were knocked flying sideways and Renji burst forth from the crowd.

He called out her name, his voice clear over the white noise of everyone else and she smiled.

"What are you doing here, fool?" She asked. His attention was fixed on her injury and this irritated her; yes she was wounded, so what? It happens to everyone in fights, surely what matters is whether you pull through in the end. He finally looked up at her and spoke.

"That fucker." She stood up a little straighter.

"That defeated fucker." She said firmly. Renji's face broke into a smile.

"Too right!" He responded, and Rukia felt her knot of indignation begin to untangle as she recognised admiration in his expression.

The numbing adrenalin that had been buzzing through her during the fight was lessening now and her injury was becoming increasingly harder to ignore. The sight of their lieutenant grimacing at the pain set the squad off again.

"Lieutenant Kuchiki, I will fetch medical help!" One girl shouted out to the voiced agreement of others. Rukia really didn't want to be attracting all this attention but it seemed she had no choice in the matter. She raised a hand to request silence before speaking.

"Thank you but no, we should head to the nearest shelter. Kiyone is leading another search party so I will send a message to Sentaro to see if he is available to lead you for the rest of the mission."

"What about you, lieutenant?" A young man asked. Rukia smiled reassuringly at him.

"I will wait there until someone is available to treat my injury. I'll be fine." There was an uncertain pause after she spoke so Renji stepped forward and faced the group.

"You heard your lieutenant! The shelter's that way, get moving!" His roar sent the squad scurrying in the pointed direction and with that he turned back to Rukia.

"Need a lift?" His cheerful offer was met with an incredulous look.

"And have my squad see me being carried like an infant?" She said in a lowered voice, "I'm meant to be leading them; they'll hardly look up to me if I display such weakness." Renji failed to hide a smirk as he replied,

"Well...being carried by me may be the only opportunity you'll get for them to look up to you..." She groaned at this weak height-related humour that Renji seemed so pleased with and grabbed his outstretched hand, limping forward.

"Amazing. Over 6 foot tall yet you still haven't grown out of your bad jokes."

 

* * *

 

The butterfly made its way quickly through the air, a pair of dark wings bearing a message flitting across the peach tinted sky. Dipping under the low hanging branch of a large tree and through the window of the barracks, it closed in on the spiritual pressure of it's recipient.

Preparing morning tea for Captain Jushiro Ukitake was, for Sentaro, a process which included many carefully executed steps to get perfect. While the water boiled, he placed a sprig of white blossoming buds, (collected from the tree outside), into the small thin vase of water atop the tea tray, then took a step back to study his work critically.

He had arranged the tea cup and saucer in the middle of the tray and the vase in the left corner, leaving a space on the right for the teapot. The flowers had just been cut so their scent was fresh, and they were washed so that no loose pollen could potentially irritate the captain's breathing; he was very sensitive after all.

Sentaro stroked his chin thoughtfully, then stepped forward again to tease the stalks of the flowers apart a little, taking pride in the fact that in Kiyone's absence he could provide the captain with all the comfort and attention he needed just perfectly without interruption...or competition.

A sudden movement in the corner of his eye stole his attention; a night-black butterfly that flew right up to him and landed on his finger. Sentaro's eyes widened as he listened to Rukia Kuchiki's request for assistance. He quickly gave the butterfly his reply.

"Yes, of course I can lead the squad! I'll-" his eyes fell once again on the tea tray.

“I-I’ll be right there!”

The butterfly set off again and Sentaro stood, torn between finishing off one duty and starting another. He needed to get to his squad and relieve Kuchiki as soon as possible, but what about the Captain’s tea…?

Fortunately, and unfortunately in a way, it was at that moment that Kiyone came in through the door with an obnoxiously loud yawn.

“I thought that survey would never end!” she said, stretching her arms above her head, “have you had a nice time, sitting here relaxing all night?” Sentaro huffed and folded his arms.

“Don’t give me that, you know as well as I do that staying with the Captain when he is unwell is an extremely important job. _And_ , for your information, I’ve just been called to lead in Kuchiki’s place as she’s been wounded.” Kiyone’s smug expression fell.

“Rukia? Is she all right?”

“She insists she’ll be fine, but…” he shook his head with a sigh.

“You know that girl, always trying not to make a fuss or draw attention to herself. She’s not really one to admit when she needs help, is she?”

“Well at least she’s asking you for help now,” Kiyone pointed out. Sentaro gave a small laugh.

“Yes, help for her squad, not for herself personally. I wonder if she’d been on her own whether she still would have reached out…” he shook his head again and moved for the door.

“I’ll be back later. Oh, and Kiyone?” with his hand on the door frame he took a deep breath, his face clearly pained as he spoke the next words.

“Please finish preparing the Captain’s morning tea. The water is boiled.” Kiyone gasped with glee.

“Of course! Right away!” she sped over to the tea tray and Sentaro quickly added,

“But don’t touch the presentation! And this means I get to give him afternoon tea!!” Kiyone rolled her eyes at him.

“Fine, whatever. I still get to see his cute bed head when he wakes up.” Sentaro left, muttering under his breath. He couldn’t beat that.

 

* * *

 

Bright scarlet was seeping through the torn material bound around Rukia's foot. She was lying outside the emergency shelter with her eyes closed, focusing on breathing steadily, her face drained of colour and shining with cold sweat.

"Shit." Rukia opened her eyes slightly to squint over at Renji; he was knelt next to her, supporting her foot on his knee and glaring at her injury as if he could will it to disappear with sheer concern. He rubbed the back of his neck absent-mindedly and swore again in a frustrated exhalation.

"Renji it's fine," Rukia insisted, as his eyes moved to her face. "Squad 4 can get to me after the southerners are seen to. I can wait, they are the priority after all. Stop fretting."

"I'm not fretting," he said fretfully, "it's just...there must be something I can do. I can't just sit here while you're like this." Rukia scoffed at him.

"Seriously? You've already helped me get here and ripped up your bloody shihakusho to dress my injury. You've done enough!" She gestured to his bare chest to make her point; he had torn strips of the upper part of his uniform to not only use as make-shift bandages for stemming the bleeding, but also to prop her foot up and support her head.

"But it's not enough! Look," he pointed at the increasingly red-stained fabric around her foot. "Maybe it needs more material..." He glanced down at the lower half of his uniform but Rukia quickly interrupted.

"Renji, believe me, the best thing you can do for me right now is stay exactly where you are and carry on being an excellent foot-stool until someone can get here and treat the wound, preferably with the majority of your clothes on." She at least got a grin out of him with that comment.

"Whatever you say, Miss Kuchiki, if my stripping displeases you so." He spoke with a mocking aloofness and she snorted in response, eyes closed again.

"You're lucky my foot is out of order or that "Miss" would have earned you a kicking. And was that meant to sound like me? You arse." Renji laughed.

"Nice to hear you still cuss like a Rukongai street rat, even while being so well spoken."

"Yeah, good to be back, eh?" She mumbled. He watched her quietly for a while as she rested; her face waxen and her chest rising and falling with short, fluttering breaths. His gaze once again fell on her injury, messy and broken, just looking so wrong, like it wasn't a part of her at all. He wished it wasn't.

Rukia had attempted some healing kido on it earlier but the stress the wound had put on her hadn't allowed her the strict concentration necessary for the process. She had tried several times, but the green pool of light her hands emitted over the lacerations had just become ever smaller and flickered out sooner with each strained attempt. In the end they'd resorted to bandaging her foot up in order to continue travelling to the shelter to await medical help while her squad moved out again under Sentaro's lead.

Renji looked down at his hands. The right lay on his knee, the other palm down on the earth. He raised his left hand and stared at the dirt-speckled life-lines, rough weathered skin and creased fingers. Large hands. Hands that could use a sword, end a fist fight, cause explosions. Such powerful hands, rendered completely useless in this situation. Right now, he would trade all that power for the ability to heal in the blink of an eye.

He felt Rukia shift slightly and looked over at her again. As she adjusted to a less stiff position her elevated foot also moved and she flinched in pain, clenching her fists. Compared to his hands, hers were so tiny, they always had been, yet they were capable of everything his could do and more.

Almost instinctively Renji reached forward and took one of her fists in his, she opened her eyes and blinked up at him as he loosened her fingers to fit his around them. She squeezed his hand tightly and he responded with a firm grip.

It wasn't healing exactly, but it would do for now.

 

* * *

 

There wasn’t a lot of ground for Sentaro to cover with his squad seeing as Rukia had led them through most of the town already. It didn’t feel very mission-like to be honest; only joining the group at the end when all the excitement had passed.

As they travelled they saw bridges being built over flooded areas, reducing the element of danger, and the gentle sunrise had cast a feeling of calmness across the streets, any mystery and suspense that the cover of night had provided was long gone. Although he was well aware there could still be hollows around, maybe even hiding their spiritual pressure like the one Rukia had fought, Sentaro highly doubted it. The very atmosphere around him was reassuring, with the background conversation between people as they worked on construction and the way everyone moved and spoke with a purpose and without stress; there was an air of control.

There was no real need for Sentaro to have his guard up, which is why he was all the more taken aback when a certain Captain appeared out of nowhere. Sentaro had just greeted one of the builders that he knew whilst stepping onto a bridge when he found Byakuya Kuchiki blocking his way, his stoic expression sterner than usual.

“Oh! Captain Kuchiki! I-I didn’t see you there!” Sentaro immediately flattened himself to one side of the bridge and gestured for the man opposite to move past. “Please, after you!” Byakuya raised an eyebrow at the path ahead of him that Sentaro’s hand offered, crammed full of ogling squad 13 officers. Sentaro took a double take behind him and promptly barked at his squad to move to the side, which, Byakuya couldn’t help but notice, they did in quite an un-orderly manner.

“Sentaro.” The addressed turned away from his squad as they tripped over each other in a mad rush to press themselves against the railings.

“Yes, sir?”

“Where is Rukia? I thought it was her duty to lead the troops through this area.” Sentaro swallowed. Had no one told him that his sister had been injured? And more importantly, would he take it well? Or should the bearer of bad news be wary of those cold, unblinking eyes…

“Y-Yes sir, Rukia was leading the squad through this area, but then she encountered a hollow,” Byakuya frowned; alarm bells sounded in Sentaro’s head.

“B-But she’s fine! Really! She won the fight and came out of it with only a wounded foot, that’s all! She and Abarai are awaiting medical assistance at the shelter-”

“Abarai?” Sentaro didn’t like the look in the Captain’s eye as he said that.

“Ah, yes, lieutenant Abarai was with her when I arrived, sir. The squad say he helped her back to the shelter after the fight.” Was that anger in Captain Kuchiki’s expression? Disappointment?  It was hard to tell with this man, he always looked angry and disappointed. Without a word, the Captain flash-stepped away, there one second and gone the next. Sentaro sincerely hoped he hadn’t gotten Renji in trouble by mentioning him.

There was a splash of water behind him as one of the officers who were stacked up against the bridge’s railing fell into the river. He heard another call out, “Check if there are any hollows down there, will you?” to the laughter of the rest.

“Hey!” He bellowed, silencing them, “Stop messing around! You mustn’t let your guard down, you never know what lies in wait ahead!” As he set off across the bridge he felt like adding, _and it’s not just hollows you need to look out for._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ukitake was so close to appearing! But no, he was asleep. I imagine his bed head is especially endearing since his hair is usually so flowing and smooth but when he wakes up he's oblivious to how he looks and just has this sleepy, happy face with hair sticking up in odd places.


	10. Assumptions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is some sweet and sour hand-holding, a nosy brother, an invalid Rukia trying to make sense of some thoughts and feelings, and just a dash of Ikkayumi. (Renji's there too don't worry)

Yumichika hated it when his zanpakuto became scuzzy after battle. As soon as he could he would set about polishing the blade until it’s gleam was restored and he could see his face reflected in the metal; that was, naturally, when it was at its most beautiful.

He drew the cloth across the sword with a calm determination, pausing occasionally to rub at any persistent scabs of dried blood, before falling back once again into his rhythm. It was a soothing sort of post-fight tradition that he liked to keep to, relaxing body, mind and soul.

Ikkaku found him round the back of the shelter, settled on the ground with his zanpakuto on his lap, looking very peaceful with the empty town stretching out before him, lit by gentle morning light. His dark hair lifted slightly in the breeze and Ikkaku’s mind briefly turned back to a time when that hair used to flow down past Yumichika’s shoulders, and flare up around him when he fought.

_“Doesn’t it get in your way? Isn’t long hair a disadvantage in a fight?”_

_A smile._

_“Only if you let it become one. Sometimes being at a disadvantage can make a bland fight far more interesting.”_

_The tucking of a strand of hair behind an ear._

_“And then when I do strike the finishing blow,”_

_A flash of lilac eyes._

_“I can do it all the more beautifully.”_

At the time, as well as admittedly feeling quite awed, Ikkaku had been rather offended since he had read that statement to mean that having long hair made one beautiful, which he quite clearly did not have. It was not that he particularly cared about his appearance so much, but hair had always been something of a sensitive issue with him, so whether he liked it or not that comment had played on his mind a little.

 It was only later on, when getting to know Yumichika better, that he realised his friend’s idea of beauty was not so simplistic. Hell, he _still_ didn’t fully understand Yumichika’s idea of beauty, but if anything he could respect the importance that it held for him. Everyone has a different fighting style, and Yumichika was completely dedicated to his, it was his lifestyle and he lived it boldly with no reservation. Yeah, Ikkaku could respect that.

“Are you going to come and sit down?” Yumichika asked levelly without turning or breaking his flow. Ikkaku made his way over and sat heavily next to the 5th seat, saying,

“I didn’t want to disturb you.” Yumichika smiled.

“Your presence doesn’t disturb me, Ikkaku. Quite the opposite.” Ikkaku momentarily wondered what the opposite of disturbing was before bringing his thoughts back to the matter at hand.

“So I spoke to Renji again earlier,” he began, and Yumichika glanced across at him.

“Is he still moody with us?”

“No, no,” Ikkaku replied with a shake of his head, “at least…I don’t think he is. He wasn’t that conversational. Until I mentioned the rumours going round…” Yumichika laughed lightly,

“He’s going to kill Rangiku.” Ikkaku turned to him.

“They’re true, the rumours.” Yumichika stopped polishing and met Ikkaku’s eyes in a stunned silence.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“They spent the night together at the Kuchiki mansion?”

“That’s right.”

“And they fucked in one of the cherry blossom trees there??”

“Uh - no, that one’s not true.”

“Ah, well,” Yumichika sighed, “I suspected as much with that one in particular. So? What _did_ happen?” Ikkaku leaned back on his hands and looked out towards the lightening sky. The sunrise felt warm on his face, but the ground in his shadow was cold, damp and gritty beneath his fingers.

“Apparently they had tea and talked.” Yumichika tutted and returned his attention to his zanpakuto.

“Well, in that case it’s no wonder Rangiku exaggerated.” He couldn’t keep the impatience out of his voice as he continued, “It is a shame they both remain so in the dark. Courtship has so much potential for beauty…” Ikkaku grunted in response.

“You think? It all seems a bit too sappy for my liking…” he waved a hand as if batting away the very thought of it. “It softens you. A distraction that makes you lose focus. I mean look at Renji now; he’s consumed with feelings he doesn’t even act upon, it’s eating him up. When someone else comes into the picture you forget about yourself, your own needs, and that can be dangerous. Survival and self-improvement relies on selfishness.” Ikkaku finished in a determined tone and Yumichika smirked at him.

“You’ve got quite a lot to say on the matter. But you seem to have forgotten that, if I remember correctly, it was those ‘sappy’ feelings that pushed Renji to get stronger and improve himself, wasn’t it?” Ikkaku opened his mouth and closed it again. Yumichika took advantage of the silence to carry on, a little smugly.

“Think I don’t recall you skulking off to train him in the late and early hours? Do tell me if I’m wrong, but Renji seemed dedicated, not to mention determined, and _very_ focused. And what do you know, he’s even a _lieutenant_ now -”

“All right, all right, I get it,” Ikkaku cut in as Yumichika smiled wickedly, “I’ll admit Renji’s come far, but he _is_ still holding himself back.”

Yumichika smoothed the cloth across his blade and tilted it slightly to catch a glare of sunlight, flashing off the metal like fire. “Why do you care so much about his love life anyway?” he asked, raising the zanpakuto up in front of him.

“He’s my friend and he’s unhappy. I’d care about your love life too, if you had one.” The face Yumichika could see shining back at him in the sword smiled.

“I do; I love myself.” Ikkaku gave a snort of laughter.

“I’m talking about a _healthy_ love life.”

“What’s healthier than loving yourself? Other people may come and go, but you have to live with yourself no matter what, and I’m comfortable in my own skin. That’s the best way to be.” He stroked his fingers through his hair before catching sight of Ikkaku’s reflection wearing a look of realisation.

“That’s exactly what we need to get across to Renji -”

“ _We? -”_

“We need to get his self-confidence up, Yumichika!” The 5th seat faced Ikkaku with a weary expression, but, taking no notice of his friend’s reluctance, Ikkaku clapped him on the shoulder and grinned.

“And if anyone knows about how to love yourself it’s you, right?” 

"Right..." Yumichika found his reflection didn't look so certain.

 

* * *

 

Her hand felt snug and warm wrapped up in his; safe and whole. They fell into conversation while they waited, and soon, despite some light-headedness and the obvious pain of her foot, Rukia found herself feeling, strangely, quite content.

He was laughing about something she had just said, and the very sight and sound of his laughter transported her back to when they were last here, in the Rukongai.  It hit her suddenly how long it had been since she had heard him properly laugh like this…had it been in the Academy sometime? Or further back?  Such a genuine, unrestrained and happy sound. Pretty fucking loud too. She couldn’t help but smile. She had never thought she would feel nostalgia for Inuzuri, yet here she was, watching Renji’s face lit up with laughter and morning sunlight in their barren surroundings, feeling a lump rise in her throat. She had missed this. Somehow, for the first time in 40 odd years, she felt like she was home.

 _God, I must have lost quite a bit of blood to be getting emotional about such a shitty childhood,_ she thought to herself. It was the smell of the place too, she realised, the rain had raised the raw scent of earth into the air, (different from the freshness of rain in the Seireitei), just like it had in the past when they had hidden under their makeshift shelters, huddled together for body heat and making up stories to pass the time. Ironically, she recalled a favourite story they would share about living in a luxurious home together, where they could have whatever they wanted. Funny, she had never imagined living it alone.

“Daydreaming again? Thought you would’ve grown out of that.” She looked up at Renji as he grinned down at her. The sun was highlighting the varying shades of red in the spikes of his ponytail, seeming to deepen the warmth of the colour. For a bizarre moment it looked as though it was his hair that was radiating light into the air around them, not the sun at all. Rukia blinked a few times. _Yeah, clearly quite a lot of blood._

“It must hurt pretty bad, huh.” Renji commented, glancing back at his knee where her foot still lay elevated.

“’Pretty bad’ is an understatement.” She said, lying her head back on the bundled strips of shihakusho. She needed to rest, before she started hallucinating or something.

“Don’t worry, squad 4 will sort it out. I broke my arm once-did I tell you? It was during some training in squad 11 that got kind of out of hand…Anyway the medics patched me up so easily I couldn’t believe it. Since then, whenever anyone in 11th started making fun of how weak the 4th division is, I’d tell them how I owe those guys my sword arm. So, I guess your foot will be no problem for them, right? I mean I know it’s not the same as an arm but it’s still a limb and all…”

Rukia was aware of him talking, but she was more aware of the hand he was holding. And the fact that he had started softly stroking his thumb over it as he rambled on. She wasn’t sure if he was doing it consciously or not, but she was finding it rather odd. Not unpleasant as such, but she didn’t feel as relaxed any more. This closeness wasn’t nostalgic, it was different. New.

He was probably just trying to comfort her, she told herself, like last night on the hillside when he had hugged her. That hadn’t felt awkward; it had surprised her yes, but had quickly felt very much needed; she had been grateful for the solid assurance of someone familiar holding her, and being there for her to hold onto.

She guessed this only felt new to her because the friendship between the two of them had never been very physical, unless you count trading punches and kicks every now and then. It had been a while since those times now though, so maybe Renji had matured beyond their old roughness; he certainly hadn’t acted like that since they had been reunited after the whole Hogyoku incident…unlike herself, she realised a little shamefully. She still didn’t hesitate to lash out when he got on her nerves, never in a way to really hurt him of course, just in the way they had always done in Inuzuri, kind of testing each other and reinforcing their dominance in the group, it was just natural behaviour for them.

Her eyes wandered up the arm of the hand covering hers and then over that torso, so large and muscular. It was likely he was being careful with her because of their clear difference in size putting her at a disadvantage. He had been taller than her ever since their Rukongai days but now the difference that good health and intense training had made to his body was…significant. Damn, she needed to improve her training. She should really ask him how he got that six-pack…

Her mind snapped back to the present as Renji’s hand suddenly tightened with tension. She looked up quickly as the familiar spiritual pressure reached her as well; absurdly she found herself trying to stand up in automatic reaction to her brother’s appearance, and failing to, naturally.

“Brother…” she spoke up, and was surprised by how weak the word sounded coming from her throat. Embarrassed, she coughed, trying to be rid of it. Backlit by the sun, Byakuya stood quite far away, but the long shadow he was casting closed the distance between him and the two lieutenants. He said nothing, yet the silence he emitted was deafening. Renji could barely stand it.

“Captain,” he said calmly in greeting, bowing his head and holding eye contact despite all his senses screaming at him to do otherwise. If he’d thought being caught by the Captain earlier was bad then this was several times worse, fuck, at least last time he’d been decently dressed whilst seated so close to Rukia…Byakuya’s eyes lowered. _Shit, shit, shit_. Renji could feel the perspiration beading up on his skin as the leaden spiritual pressure pelted down onto him. _Let go of her hand, just let it go…_

“It probably looks worse than it is,” Rukia’s voice was distant and softened to him but it broke through the unbearable quiet and he somehow managed to move his eyes, if no other part of his body, to look at her. She had raised her head to face her brother and was attempting to sit up; he could feel her hand clutching his, trembling from the effort this took. He carefully helped pull her up.

“Renji.” The sound of his name spoken as two grave syllables made him freeze again. “Come here.”

Rukia slowly switched her gaze to Renji and he could see the confusion in her eyes as she struggled to focus and get a grip on the situation; courtesy of blood loss and exhaustion no doubt. She was still so pale, and her hand was still holding onto his.

 “ _Renji_.” Again, louder, a warning. Renji kept her gaze a moment longer before letting go. Her fingers took a second before reacting, they held onto his just a bit longer than necessary after he’d released them, until finally falling away.

Moving his hand behind her head, Renji lowered her back down so that she was once again resting on the scraps of shihakusho. There was a movement beside him as a medic appeared wearing the same uniform he had seen on the servants at the Kuchiki mansion, and another knelt by Rukia’s head. He couldn’t find the energy to be surprised, he simply let them remove her leg from his knee as he stood and began the long walk towards his Captain.

 

Renji knew Byakuya Kuchiki’s shadow well, but never before had he walked in that shadow when it was the Captain who was watching his every movement. In the complete absence of sun, the warmth and light were sapped from the air, and his footsteps seemed to echo. He kept his sights on the man ahead, eyes steady, and kept walking, as he always had done.

He stopped a few feet from the Captain and waited.

“You look cold.” Renji wasn’t sure if this was an invitation to explain his half-nakedness or not, but decided it was as good an opportunity as any.

“I tore my shihakusho up to dress Rukia’s injury, and to make her comfortable sir,” was his reply. Byakuya looked past his lieutenant at the small girl being treated further back.

“So you think she is most comfortable when seeing you bare-chested?” Renji instantly regretted his choice of words.

“N-no! I only meant-she needed some material to support her head, to be comfortable!” The grey eyes closed with a sigh and when Byakuya next spoke his voice was low and precise.

“You must return to the barracks, there is work to be done. Stay in your office until I return. I would like a word with you.” Renji nodded, his mouth dry. As he went to move past the Captain his wrist was suddenly clasped tightly, and with a turn of his head he found himself inches away from the slightly shorter man’s cold stare.

“Heed this word of caution before you go,” he hissed, his voice chilling Renji to the bone, “Hands that wander don’t stay attached to their body for long.” The look in Byakuya’s eyes pierced through Renji mercilessly, and then he was heading towards his sister without a backwards glance.

The toxic emotional cocktail of exhaustion, shock, fear, and defeat, not to mention the quick lessening of that oppressive spiritual pressure, left Renji reeling, he had to put all his strength into steadying himself to keep from collapsing where he stood. His eyes followed the cause of his imbalance, who was now kneeling next to Rukia. Rukia…her head was lain on a real pillow now, his strips of uniform lay dishevelled to the side. Good. This was what she needed. She was looking at him, concern shining in her eyes, but he turned away, rubbing his aching wrist as he walked on.

 

* * *

 

“Brother, why is Renji leaving? Is he ok?” Rukia was sure she had just missed something between the two of them while the medics had been asking her questions about her condition and messing around with her head rest and foot.

“Renji has commitments in the 6th division, Rukia. He needs to return to his duties.” Rukia squirmed uncomfortably, the pillow beneath her head was cold and firm.

“Please refrain from moving, Miss Kuchiki,” one of the medics said without looking at her as he peeled away the shihakusho binding on her foot. It hurt, it was all hurting, she still felt there was something her brother wasn’t telling her.

“Rukia…” She glanced back at him, knelt at her side with his hands palm-down on his knees as he watched her with an unreadable expression. “…why was Renji here with you?” Rukia answered readily.

“He felt my reiatsu when I was fighting a hollow, so since he was on his break he came over to watch and offer assistance if I needed it. As it happened, I did need assistance after the fight because I got injured, so he helped me get back here.” Renji had explained this to her on their way to the shelter.

“So he was on his break at this shelter initially?” Byakuya questioned evenly.

“Oh, no,” Rukia replied, flinching as the last of the bandage was removed, “He was at the shelter in, ah, the 64th I think he said. A bit further on from here.” Byakuya narrowed his eyes.

“Quite a way to travel. Does he not trust your abilities in a fight, to feel he needed to come to your rescue?” This comment surprised Rukia.

“No it’s not like that,” she insisted, “He’s my oldest friend, we always have each others’ back. I’d have done the same for him; it’s not a question of our fighting ability.” Byakuya looked almost sympathetic and she couldn’t understand why.

“Your oldest friend, you say. That’s all there is to your relationship? Nothing more?” Rukia felt her cheeks colouring as it sank in what Byakuya was implying.

“We are good friends, that is all!” She really wanted this conversation to end. Byakuya, on the other hand…

“And you think that Renji feels the same way?” Rukia couldn't help but stutter in response to this question.

“W-well of course he does!” Byakuya studied her for a second more before looking away.

“I see. All the same, Rukia, you must have noticed how he is rather…overly familiar with you. Since you do not wish to pursue him romantically, as you have made clear, I would suggest distancing yourself from him somewhat. We wouldn’t want to encourage a problematic situation.” Rukia couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing. She had so many thoughts and responses racing through her head, but they were battling for priority and in the end none could reach her mouth.

Byakuya proceeded to ask her if she had made any new acquaintances at the Paper Butterfly the previous evening. A voice Rukia assumed was hers was telling him about Izuru and Momo, and how Rangiku had made a short speech for her, but her mind was drifting again.

Renji was her best friend. She’d already lost him once, she couldn’t do it again. If she’d learnt anything over the past 24 hours it was that he was someone she needed in her life. But the way Byakuya had spoken about Renji…as if he knew something about him that she didn’t. It bothered her.

 _And you think that Renji feels the same way?_ He did, didn't he? She thought back over what had happened at the Butterfly, the hill, the fight. The green kido encompassing her foot felt cool and feathery, and as her hands lay at her sides, empty, she recalled the sensation of Renji’s thumb running over her right fist. There was a nervous fluttering in her chest.

It was different. New.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I considered adding that, along with all the other things in his toxic cocktail of emotions, Renji had pins and needles in his leg from supporting Rukia's foot for so long in one position, but hey, I'm not that mean.
> 
> In other news: Happy Birthday Salzrand!! AKA the lovely talented artist who made [this gorgeous doujinshi about part of chapter 2 that everyone should definitely check out!!](http://salzrand.tumblr.com/post/152163182845/some-small-part-of-mothmckrakken-s-fanfiction) Hope you are having a brilliant time! <3


	11. Sit, stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rukia has a visitor, Renji faces the frustration of the order: _Stay in your office_ , and we encounter a shiny new rumour.

Birdsong. It was nice against the silence, lilting and inviting…there was no need for Rukia to open her eyes just yet, it was enough to simply listen. Some part of her waking consciousness knew to lie still so that she didn’t disturb the warm blankets tucking her in place so carefully. She made to close her fist and to her surprise her finger tips met her palm as they closed on nothing. Her eyes opened at this, focusing on the empty hand in confusion and flexing her fingers as they were warmed by a pool of sunlight, trying to figure out what she had been expecting to feel beneath them. Now that she could see her surroundings she quickly realised that they were unfamiliar.

 _Squad four’s barracks?_ She thought frowning, eyes darting over the pale wood panel walls of the wide, airy room and the startling white sheets covering her body.

 _Why am I…?_ Rukia sat up, pushed the sheets back with some force and swiveled round to swing her legs out of the bed, but the room abruptly began spinning. Her momentum carried her into the bedside table which she grabbed at quickly for balance, doubling over with a groan. Whilst blinking blearily at the floor and trying to overcome her dizziness, her feet came into view. Irregular lines of puckered white skin were drawn across her right foot. The memories began to form as she raised her right leg before cautiously pressing the foot down again onto the floor, gradually applying more pressure as it became clear that there was nothing to be cautious about; she was healed.

With a short breath of astonishment, she reached down to stroke the jagged scars, finding herself still bracing for the vicious pain that was now apparently just a memory.

“Remarkable work, isn’t it?” Rukia jumped and looked up to find Captain Ukitake at the open door; he was paler than usual but smiling brightly all the same.  

“Captain!” She tried to stand but he laughed and waved at her to sit back down as he entered the room.

“Please, rest!” he insisted, settling into a chair at her bedside. “I’m glad I caught you awake! Kiyone and Sentaro told me what happened. How are you feeling?” Rukia perched on the edge of the bed and considered, while Ukitake poured her a cup of water from the jug at her bedside.

“Better…” her eyes fell to her foot again as she flexed it with fascination. 

“I am glad to hear it,” he said happily as Rukia accepted the water from him with a thank you, but she couldn’t help but focus on the tiredness in his voice.

“And you, sir?” She asked before taking a sip, and then, on realizing how thirsty she actually was, finishing the drink.

“Oh, I’m fine, thank you for asking! Nothing I haven’t been through before, anyway…the squad was worried about you, you know! They say you put up quite a fight.” Rukia glanced away, frowning as she placed the cup back on the table.

“It injured me. I should not have allowed that to happen.” Ukitake was surprised by her harsh tone of voice.

“It was a fight, Rukia, against an unknown opponent. Injuries are expected in such a situation.”

“But I am a lieutenant now!” Rukia exclaimed, “I can’t afford to keep making mistakes like I used to. My squad depends on me!” Ukitake noticed how she was staring hard at the floor, her shaking hands gripping tightly onto the bed sheet either side of her in an all too familiar manner.  _Ah. So that’s what this is about._

 “…I understand. Rukia…” Ukitake’s soft voice was accompanied by the gentle touch of his hand on her shoulder.

“Lieutenants make mistakes. Captains make mistakes. Rank has nothing to do with it, we are all souls in the end and we can’t get everything right.” She glanced hesitantly at him and he smiled back encouragingly.

“I would advise you not to take shame in your scars, but to learn from them. Let them be a reminder of the new strength and knowledge they have given you.” With a steadying breath, Rukia nodded.

“Yes, sir.”

“Anyway,” Ukitake said, raising his voice more cheerfully, “You protected your squad, you should be proud of yourself! I certainly am!” Rukia gave a small smile at this.

“Thank you, sir.” Ukitake gave her a last pat on the shoulder and got to his feet.

“I’ll let lieutenant Kotetsu know you are awake; she can talk to you about your condition.” Before he left the room he paused and turned to her once again.

“How about we meet for a talk later this week, to see how you’re settling in? You can let me know about any concerns you have, and we can drink tea!” The sight of him lighting up at this proposition, almost bringing some colour to his cheeks, was more than enough to convince Rukia.

“I would be happy to, sir,” she replied thankfully.

“Wonderful! Allow me a while to figure out where and when; it’s going to be a busy week I’m sure but I believe time should always be made for talking and tea.”

 

* * *

 

Once left alone again, Rukia drew her legs back under the white covers and remained sitting upright, leaning back against the headboard while facing the open window. The day was bright and sunlight was reflecting off the last of the raindrops that were collected along the windowsill and on the edges of the shutters.

Thinking back to last night, (early this morning?), she mainly felt confused. Everything had happened in quick succession all at once; her brother appearing, medics surrounding her, and then Renji disappearing so suddenly without so much as a goodbye, leaving Byakuya to start questioning their relationship and telling her to stay away from him.

She watched one raindrop glisten as it slid down the length of the shutter’s edge and hung precariously off the bottom corner. It was a marble of colours, wavering in the breeze while the birds sang on in the background, until, in a blink of light, it fell. She frowned. Just one example of how a brief moment of beauty vanishes all too quickly, swept away in life's constant tide. Unconsciously, she had closed her hand again, as if trying to hold on to a moment herself.

With a sigh, Rukia lay her aching head back against the wall and closed her eyes. She was hungry, she hoped she hadn’t slept through lunch, though it did only seem to be mid-morning. Maybe it would be better for her to not think of anything at all for the time being, just to take her captain’s advice and rest.

 

* * *

 

Where was it coming from? The persistent slow drip of leftover raindrops was just loud enough to reach Renji's ears and annoy him to no end. Sitting at his desk, he was making his way through a load of paperwork; names, prices and details of the destruction that had taken place so far. Somehow he had ended up being the one to deal with organising the documents for this disaster, alone in his office with no company but his lantern, the papers on his desk and a silence studded with the maddening occasional drip of rain.

Needless to say, Renji was not in high spirits. He felt utterly useless sitting there when so much was being dealt with outside. It was as if the sun was rising far slower here in the Seireitei, the grouped buildings seemed to be blocking out the lightening sky. With an angry sigh, Renji got up and strode across the room restlessly. He was a lieutenant! He should be out there amidst the action, saving lives and leading his squad. Was all of the training he went through, all those promotions as he climbed up the ranks, just leading up to sitting in an office when people were in need?

He could feel the previous bitterness he’d held towards lieutenants and captains in his academy days resurfacing as he leaned back against the bookshelf opposite his workspace and folded his arms, staring at the documents with disgust. So official and unfeeling. It made him sick.

Of course, he knew why he was here. His captain’s words forced their way back into his mind and a feeling of dread surrounded him like a fine mist, he was breathing it, he could feel it clinging to him and seeping into his skin, clammy and cruel.

_Stay in your office until I return. I would like a word with you._

He moved to the other end of the room with emphasis, trying to shake off the mist. Just what was the captain going to say? When would he even get here? As if Renji could focus on paperwork while this sense of impending doom was hanging over his head like a particularly unpredictable guillotine. Another thought took over and brought his pacing footsteps to a halt.

Had the captain spoken to Rukia about him…? Surely he’d want an explanation from her about what had happened, including what Renji’s role had been in the situation. Maybe Rukia would be able to clear it all up, paint him in a good light…supposing she had good things to say about him.

He tentatively thought back to when they had been alone, her hand in his. He hadn’t allowed himself to think of it since the captain had sent him back, but now the memory shone like a beacon out of the sinister mist and he found himself unable to look away. The slight weight of her foot was still imprinted in his thigh. He could feel her gaze on him again, and his stomach somersaulted as he remembered how those eyes had roamed over his chest…

A voice calling his name at the door extinguished the light of the memory. Renji jumped at the sound. It was a woman, but for all he knew it could be a Kuchiki servant with the captain in tow…he took a breath and went to open the door. To his surprise, Lieutenant Ise stood before him, holding a clipboard against her chest and looking up at him with her usual serious expression.

"Good morning Lieutenant Abarai," she began, "I understand that you were put in charge of filing?" Renji almost grimaced at her words.

"Yeah," he replied with a sigh, "Got more for me, have you?" She frowned a little at his tone.

"No, I'm here to assist you." Walking purposefully past him into the room, she began inspecting the papers while Renji blinked after her in surprise.

"Oh, ok. Thanks, I could do with some help." Nanao was already leafing through the pages.

"Hmm. Yes, I can see that," she said, gathering the mess into piles. Renji moved back to his spot at the bookshelf and observed with a sort of fascination as she worked mechanically at his desk. She handled this kind of job like it came entirely naturally to her. Her eyes flicked up to find him watching her and she blushed indignantly.

"I-I'm here to help, not do it all for you!" She said, looking away and adjusting her glasses.

"Ah, right, sorry." Renji approached the desk rather warily as she dumped a pile of papers in front of him. Glancing over the first page with disinterest, he pretended to look through them for a moment before speaking up.

"Is there any news from Rukongai?" Nanao didn't look up from her filing but reeled off the facts she knew.

"There are a large number of casualties. The Southern districts have been hit the worst. Many squad members have reported aquatic hollow sightings. Repair work has begun in a few areas already. I'm afraid I can't offer more information as I've been stationed within the barracks like you, I only know what I've over-heard and read in reports."

Renji felt the frustration rise up inside him again.

"Aren't you angry you can't find out more? That we're stuck here in the dark shuffling papers while there are people in distress out there?!" Nanao paused and looked up at him in surprise.

"But those in need are receiving assistance; there are more officers in the field than in the barracks." She responded neutrally.

"Why does anyone need to be in the barracks at a time like this? If people are dying they need all the help they can get! We can do the bloody filing afterwards!" Nanao frowned at him.

“Every role is essential. We are helping keep the order so those in the field know what needs to be taken care of next.”

Renji had to remove his hands from the desk to keep himself from crumpling the papers and showing her exactly what he thought of this ‘order’ they had to keep. Nanao noticed his stony silence and looked up to find his posture stiff, arms tightly folded and head turned towards the window. His sunlit face was darkened by a deep frown. She sighed and put the paper she was holding down on the desk.

“I can understand where you are coming from, but I know this is the best way I can help in this situation, so I don’t feel frustrated remaining in the barracks. I must admit though…” She gave him a puzzled look. “I wouldn’t have expected _you_ to be stationed here, what with your…uh…particular skill-set.”  

It was Renji’s turn to sigh; as sudden as his anger had flared it now subsided and was replaced with a numbing acceptance as he turned back to the desk.

“My captain is meeting me here. Maybe after he’s spoken to me I’ll be sent out to Rukongai again.” _And told to never come back_ , he finished privately. He shuffled the documents in front of him while Nanao took in his sudden change of demeanor with a quirked eyebrow.

“If anything you look like you should be sent to bed,” she said bluntly, making him laugh.

“Do I really look that bad?” To his surprise, Nanao studied him with open criticism.

“Your hair is sticking up more than usual, in fact many odd strands are fighting the binding of your ponytail, and there are darkening shadows gathered under your eyes, which are themselves lidded and quite visibly tired. There is dread and worry in your expression, which only adds to your exhausted appearance.  So, in answer to your question, yes, you do.” She confirmed.

Renji let out a choked laugh and shook his head in disbelief. “Shit, you don’t hold back, do you?” Nanao smiled at him slightly as he tried, and failed, to pat his hair into place.

“You asked me a question, and I value honesty and detail in an answer.” As opposed to Renji’s weary appearance Nanao was looking fresh and focused; hair smooth and fastened neatly, expression attentive, eyes moving quickly over the writing in front of her from behind polished glasses. Renji wondered how she could be this awake, he racked his brains to try to remember if he had seen her at the bar earlier…yes, he had glimpsed her congratulating Rukia amongst the others when they had entered the room; Nanao had waited until the crowd had thinned before coming forward and welcoming Rukia with a calm smile.

“When will your captain be arriving?” Nanao inquired. Renji grunted, the hell if he knew.

“Captain Kuchiki doesn’t bother telling me information like that,” he said in a flat voice, “He likes to keep me guessing.” He turned to the door as if expecting the man to burst in at that very moment. He could feel Nanao studying him again and looked back at her to find an intensity in her expression, as if she were reading him like one of the forms on the desk. His eyes narrowed.

“What?”

“Lieutenant Abarai…I wanted to check something with you,” she began in a serious tone that made Renji instinctively be on his guard.

“There have been spoken reports concerning your activities yesterday evening,” She nudged her glasses up her nose slightly, “that you spent the night at the Kuchiki residence.” Renji’s mouth fell open.

“Now, I know that it is not my business what other lieutenants do in their spare time, however, considering the professional side of things-“

“Nothing happened between me and Rukia!!” Nanao stopped short at this sudden outburst from Renji, and with a slightly confused frown she continued, “Oh, that…wasn’t what I was implying…” A blush worked its way across Renji’s face as he blinked and cleared his throat.

“Ah! S-sorry.”

“Don’t worry, there are no misunderstandings about you and Lieutenant Kuchiki, but Renji,” She clasped her hands together and leaned forward on the desk, lowering her voice, “I would advise you to be cautious in proceeding so openly with your relationship with your captain.” Renji suddenly found himself unable to move or speak. White-noise rang in his ears.

“Captain-lieutenant relationships are technically forbidden,” Nanao continued to whisper, “But I can assure you, you have my full confidentiality.” Renji’s brain seemed to have finally finished re-booting, so he reacted by talking at great volume and speed.

“Nanao, wait, no, you’ve got it wrong! Me and the captain aren’t –“ The spiritual pressure that suddenly hit them from the other side of the door was unmistakable and made them both fall silent. Clearly, the only announcement Byakuya Kuchiki needed to make for his arrival was with his reiatsu.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nanao: ooOOoohhh it's your booyfriieend~  
> Renji: NO
> 
> I'm sorry that the hiatus went on for so long, much longer than I had aimed for it to be, but thank you for the lovely supportive messages both here and on tumblr while I was inactive!! It's really uplifting to hear from people enjoying the story and it definitely spurs me onwards when I have writers block ^^ 
> 
> I've started my final year at university so uni work is going to be my main focus for the next 6 months or so, but I do have more of the story planned out and will keep writing in my spare time. Hope you have a great day/evening, and thanks for reading! <3
> 
>  
> 
> Also, [This could genuinely be a continuation of this chapter ;)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXQm5w6nm-o)

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first work I'm submitting! Hope it's set out clearly enough, comments and constructive criticism are appreciated, thanks for reading :)


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